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That's about what I concluded too. I do wonder if the fediverse grows to tens / hundreds of millions of users, just how scalable the networking will be - and how susceptible to DDOS. I haven't a detailed understanding of the communication protocols, I've just noticed a reasonable amount of traffic in the log files of my single user Lemmy instance.
100%, federation is incredibly spammy in its current implementation. I don't think it's even necessary for an instance to be This Informed about what's happening on other instances - what we really need is an identity that can span multiple instances, we don't need to have all the content from all federated instances available on all federated instances. That's useful for moderation, but that can be solved without the tight coupling and constant noise that it requires now.