It's a bowling date. Very first ball. When the clerk asked my name I said Mr. Balls and it's on the scoreboard above me. All the pressure in the world is on my shoulders like Atlas. I turn to face my date, announce that "This is why they call me Mr. Balls", and throw it down the lane. The stars align and I get my only strike of the night.

That is why they call me Mr. Balls.

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[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I did this at a softball practice date (I was pitching). Biggest flop of my life.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 25 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You need to summon spiritual energy to do balls magick. You have to genuinely believe that you are Mr. Balls, then the universe is bent to your will.

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I pitched nothing but balls and everyone was very disappointed.

My date even said "Maybe you're just not cut out to be a pitcher".

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)

There's your problem. You tried to be Mr. Balls in a game where "ball" means a bad thing. You pitched nothing but balls which proves that it's a mystical power.

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Mr. Balls could be a good thing if you were a super hitter that got walked all the time

but half of those players would probably think you were talking about their roid-shriveled testicles