this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2023
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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There’s so much stuff that would feel weird and stereotype-y to see someone else do and think, “they must be trans!” but when I think back on myself doing them, my only thought is, “oh, so that’s what that was about.”

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[–] done@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I obviously cant speak to your kids future experiences, but that kind of mirrors my experience. Once i got over "oh ok im a boy apparently?" in my childhood, once puberty came i got really depressed and deeply not okay. What i needed growing up was exposure to and normalization of trans identities (and for people to not assume i was a boy, but thats a big ask in this society). Even just a book with the super cis-accessible 'born in the wrong body' narrative. But my home life was a bit messy, so little support there, and school was, well, public school (read: rife with homophobia), so any feelings i had got pushed down and funneled into self hatred and shame.

I hope your kiddo has an easier time figuring things out, but even just having parents who are aware of trans identities and whatnot is a huge win in my book :)

and for people to not assume i was a boy, but thats a big ask in this society

That’s kinda the thing, isn’t it? We tried for a long time to get people to expect him to tell them his name and pronouns when he first saw them for the day. Because that’s what he was doing anyway. People were happy to let him “pretend”, but didn’t actually respect what he wanted. He’s stopped telling people, including us now. So I’m hoping that me being trans and is having trans people present in our lives be enough visibility to help him out if/when he needs it.