this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2023
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Memes

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[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 114 points 2 years ago (18 children)

I don't want to sound like an incel, and I like eating vag/salad as much as the next guy, but imagine this image with the genders reversed

[–] Franklin@lemm.ee 51 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

IMO either party doing this is fine as long as it's discussed and within the comfort bounds of the people in the relationship.

I think the problem is an expectation when there has been no discussion about whether or not it's within someone's limits.

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 57 points 2 years ago (11 children)

I have no issue with oral sex between consenting adults. But this meme would not be as well received if the genders were reversed. It's hard to even imagine someone posting "always be there for your man in a time of crisis" with the woman going down on the guy.

[–] Franklin@lemm.ee 19 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I can only speak for myself but I wouldn't really mind it the other way around as long as there's no implied use of force or manipulation.

[–] Absolutemehperson@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Feel free to reverse the genders & post this on twitter then. Getting banned from the internet speedrun any%

[–] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 years ago

Twitter = the internet

[–] papertowels@lemmy.one 13 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I believe "consenting" is key here.

The reason why it's taboo if the genders were reversed is because there is a long and well documented history of non-consent when genders are reversed.

Was there non-consent where gals are forcing guys? Very likely. However what evidence I've seen suggests this is dwarfed by guys forcing gals.

[–] Yoru@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 years ago

im gonna post a reversed version of this im really curious what'll happen

[–] Touching_Grass@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago
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[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 51 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yes i imagined it, very nice. Whats the next step?

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 62 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Fosheze@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

I love you and I'm saving this.

[–] Knusper@feddit.de 34 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I agree that it would look quite different with the genders reversed. However, gender equality is not like mathematical equality, where every situation needs to be reversible.

Women have traditionally been less sex-positive and less dominant, which many consider indicators of a lack of true gender equality, so a progressive community will celebrate a reversal of that.

[–] AstridWipenaugh@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago

Bad behavior is still bad behavior, regardless of who's doing it. The oppressed engaging in the same behavior as their former oppressors is not equality, it's just more oppression.

[–] 1847953620@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

But situations regarding the handling of power dynamics and standards of consent/coercion absolutely should be reversible.

[–] Knusper@feddit.de 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Well, consent is non-negotiable. I understood the comic as depicting a consenting couple.

As for power dynamics, I'm certainly not on board with her having communicated, she had an emergency. That is just disrespectful. But that one looks bad on both genders.
The existence of power dynamics in a relationship in general always looks bad, for both sides, in my opinion.

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[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 27 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Nothing wrong with a consenting partner

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 20 points 2 years ago

Yes, but not quite the point I was making

[–] Batman@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I guess the problem is the assumption that the man is consenting. A meme is not a place to go for realistic depictions of sex, though. I think this one is playing off that to create conflict/engagement.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 years ago

It's a joke. People lost their sense of humor

[–] demlet@lemmy.world 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Everyone here will pretend they would be fine with it now that you called out the hypocrisy. Or they'll argue men deserve it as some kind of "payback", in which case it's really not about equality of course.

[–] deus@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm sorry, they'll argue that men deserve what as a form of payback? Cause you're phrasing it like there's some kind of discrmination or persecution against men going on here and I fail to see it.

[–] demlet@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It doesn't have to be persecution to be sexist and therefore hypocritical in a culture that claims to be opposed to sexism. I'm personally fine with a joke like this, I just also happen to think that if the characters in this one were reversed there would be all sorts of outrage and accusations of toxic masculinity.

[–] criitz@reddthat.com 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)

That context matters, though. We live in a world where women are historically predated on by men, which would make the gender-swapped version insensitive. Absent that context, I think this works he fine in either gender position, but because of that context, showing it this way isn't as bad as showing it with the genders reversed. With that in mind the difference isn't hypocritical.

[–] demlet@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

That's a roundabout way of saying that all men should be okay with it because some men have historically done the same thing to women, which is what I meant by the word "payback". I disagree with the premise that one is acceptable but not both. Either both are or both aren't, that's the only position that actually describes equality.

[–] criitz@reddthat.com 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

This image illustrates why pure "equality" isn't the right goal pretty well I think. I'm not saying all men or any men need to be OK with anything. It's not payback, it's that each has a different impact based on context of the reality that we live in.

[–] demlet@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

So we want people to have an equal outcome. That's perfectly fine, and something I fully support. The difference is that no one in the right image has to be treated badly for everyone to be happy. If we accept that, in the abstract and lacking full context of possible consensual behavior between adults, objectifying people sexually is treating people badly, then we shouldn't want it for anyone, nor find it amusing.

[–] criitz@reddthat.com 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

OK well if you find objection in the depiction regardless of gender I respect that

[–] Draedron@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 years ago

What would be the issue then? 2 consenting people can show each other what they want sexually, no matter the gender

[–] bennypr0fane@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It would be fine in a porn comic, but provoke a scandal in a "regular" memes community

[–] ParsnipWitch@feddit.de 0 points 2 years ago

There are plenty of memes which are sexist towards women. They just aren't perceived as sexist but simply as "funny".

[–] Holzkohlen@feddit.de 5 points 2 years ago

In my mind she has a cock. She also is built like an amazon, so she can just lift me up and flip me round for some standing 69. Nice

[–] Touching_Grass@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Its the internet. No imagination needed

[–] rotopenguin 0 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I ain't never dined at the Y, I am by any reasonable definition an incel..

But geez dude, lighten up.

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