this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2023
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I used to judge overweight people. Now I understand that I was an asshole.
I have gained 25Kg in the past three years for no apparent reason. I eat the same kind of food, I exercise regularly... yet something is slightly off and my weight continues to slowly creep up.
People talk about calories in, calories out. What is missing from that argument is something as obvious as hunger: in the real world, over the long term, people eat until they are satisfied and no sooner than that. "Count your calories" means "Go hungry every meal". You can soldier on for a few months or a year, but eventually you will simply eat until you are no longer hungry.
If your hormones are slightly off and you feel a little too hungry for how much energy you actually need, you will slowly gain weight. Healthy people don't feel hungry every meal, that's simply not how they maintain a healthy weight.
That is why drugs like Wegovy are so important. They slightly adjust your sense of hunger so that it matches the amount of energy you actually need. Being overweight is in itself a chronic disease with all sorts of complications, from hypertension and diabetes to heart disease and joint problems. We need to stop judging people who suffer from it and start treating them now that we finally can.
You ignore the factor calory density here. So, yes you can put your effort into restricting how much you eat, if you want to keep constant what you eat. But you could reinvest the effort in restricting the quantity of your food into restricting its quality. Furthermore, you could confuse hunger for appetite and - no judgement - this could come from a misalignment of your dopamine system and hence mental health.
A distinction without a difference: if you don't eat some more, you will suffer. In the long run, people eat until they are satisfied. Call it hunger, call it appetite, call it cravings, call it whatever you want. Stop eating too early -> suffer.
That's exactly why I mentioned effort. You can suffer from your effort or from the lack of it and most of the times, suffering from effort is awarded with pleasure, while suffering from the lack of effort spirales into more suffering.
Sure. Let's do an experiment. Try losing 5Kg/10lbs and maintain that weight loss for two years. Show us how rewarding it is to feel hungry after every meal.
I have a healthy weight because I'm mentally balanced and take responsibility for whatever I do to my body. That is however not something that I assume to be true of somebody who reacts with aggression to genuinely kind help.
I give you a last kind hint, even though I'm convinced you won't hear it and then I'm out here: Going after a craving comes with pain, not with pleasure, because dopamine is a liar: it is the hormone of wanting, not the hormone of satisfaction. Whatever you are craving, allow yourself to go after it here and then, but start paying close attention to how it makes you feel after giving in. Most of the times, it makes you want more and more instead of reducing the craving.
Watch what you're eating and be aware how it makes you feel.