this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2023
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It's a bit early to go so deep and I usually give pretty bad advice, but this time is different.
If you're getting married, don't get your parents to pay for it.
My bro is getting married soon, p's are paying and what I'm seeing is not great. It creates a very odd dynamic.
It's a supremely bad idea.
We eloped. Paid for it ourselves. Headache free.
Is it because they think that contributing money buys them a controlling say in how the wedding goes? That's not cool, and it's certainly no gift.
I think 2/3rds of the guests are my parents' buddies heh. There's a clash about guestlist, food, seating, font on the invitations..
I think the control will go beyond the wedding. You're not calling enough, coming over for dinner enough etc... which my guess will lead to a bit of resentment and regret.
We paid for our own wedding, and it was the best decision. MIL wanted to pay for it, but that would have meant she runs the show. Sidelining her was very satisfying as she had no control over anything.
Agreed, footed our own bill. Filled up the wheelbarrow and kid shell pool thing with ice and a thousand bucks of dan murphy's finest merchandise, ordered like 30 pizzas, job done.
I'd say the same even extends to things like houses the way I'm seeing it pan out with a few friends of mine... Sucks because parents are the only way they're able to afford a home
Mr Peeler would agree. He bought a house with his mum years ago, and it was his home to live in, they lived a couple of suburbs away. She felt it was her right to go in, use her key, no notice or knocking, anytime she damn well pleased. It caused a massive rift which echoes to this day.
ooh I'd imagine a house would be worse.
One of my cousins who already has a tense relationship with her parents is about to go into this and I feel like I'm about to watch a train crash happening in slow motion