this post was submitted on 28 Aug 2023
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One consistent thing I notice in all these declarations, especially in speaking with other high-level management sorts... They'll declare "we have better conversations in the office", to which I simply ask "do you not ever simply call someone to shoot-the-shit?"
Case in point: we had a leaver recently, my boss had had a one-on-one and came to me saying "X is leaving, some flaky reason about job security".
My response: "They've got a kid in a new school, and they've been a bit worried about operational security here. They just wanted to work for a bigger company because there's inherently more stability in that sort of environment. Did X not tell you this?"
Boss: "No."
Me: "...How long did you chat to them?"
Boss: "5 min call"
Me: "I pulled X in for a chat, we were talking for 30 mins... Do you not do this with everyone? Do you ever just take people aside for a social call?"
Boss: "..."
It's just people from a different era, they didn't grow up socializing on MSN etc. This is all foreign and scary to them. They'll die (in the workplace) off soon enough.
I don't understand how you do that. If you're in person, you have many ways to get a conversation going. For example:
You can also easily see if someone is available to chat or if they're deep in their work, and get a vague idea of their general state of mind so you know if it's a good idea to start a conversation at all, and know what to expect from it if you do.
You get none of that from video calls. You start with a completely blank slate. When you call, all you have to go on is their face looking into the camera.
A video call is also a whole ordeal. You need to set up in one location, and you're stuck there for the entire duration of the call. It takes time to prepare your headset and webcam, make sure you have water, etc. So it's hard to justify a call to just make some quick exchanges like your typical "good morning" and 2-3 sentences of small talk, whereas you can easily do that in person at no cost as you walk past each other in the hallway. You can also easily just have someone walk with you as you chat, so you don't need to make any kind of preparations ahead of time.
This is all coming from someone who's likely autistic, so maybe my experience is different from everyone else's, but I can say for sure that I have more difficulties with socializing in a remote setup than in person.
Some of this is accurate. but with Teams or Webex you can set your status, and courtesy is message first and wait for confirmation before a cold call. invest in a Bluetooth headset like: MS modern headset with USB link and Bluetooth, is a game changer. i can be making a coffee in the kitchen and answer a call from the PC USB wifi , or my phone BT connection.