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The problem is that the socket will always have the mechanical retainers for all sorts of plugs. This was a problem for example in the shitty Nokia (HMD Global) phones that used the literal cheapest half-sockets it could find. The retaining tabs wore out and the entire phone socket had to be replaced.
But yes, the smaller retaining pins on USB C will wear out the plug first. Apple Lightning cables will wear out at the phone side instead of the plug side. The difference is that Apple requires Lightning certification on all of their cables meaning that shitty out of spec Chinese crap can't ruin your port as easily. They worked around bad design with legal restrictions. This was also a play by Apple to restrict charging to whatever they want with proprietary protocol.
USB-C is also grounded from the shielding around the connector, that is huge for pushing higher speeds also. Lighting is limited to 2010 speeds, but generally on phones that doesn't matter.
For your dirt problem, a smaller toothpick works fine and I have used that method many times to get fuzz and dirt out of my port. Don't use metal. Generally you will be fine with metal because GND and high voltage are both right next to high speed data lines so it will simply pull the data line high or low, pull data lines to each other, or temporarily toggle CC/SBU pins. Not a big deal, but if you go diagonally you can short something that would burn out supporting components, so I would recommend wood or plastic.
Great response, thanks!