this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2026
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We live in a world of 8+ billion people, in an era where everybody is getting lamblasted with media vying for their attention at every avenue, every hour of the day. You listed 7 examples. Chill the fuck out. There's completely valid reasons why somebody may not have heard of those events.
Why not tell favoredponcho to “chill the fuck out” for being so upset over a downvote? Why tell a woman who is being aggressively scolded to be more considerate?
Like, I get that folks might not have heard of those instances. That’s fine. I just find it weird that a woman listed names of women who were victims of revenge porn is the one who is being scolded and not the man who didn’t do the most basic internet search to find the information, then got aggressive and whined about a downvote.
When I have a very easily researched question, I go to https://noai.duckduckgo.com/ and look it up myself. I don’t whine about downvotes and then scold someone for downvoting me.
And please read this with no aggression, it just boggles my mind that sneakypersimmon is the bad guy in this instance.
To be clear, I'm responding to these statements.
My comments were never meant to defend the statements of that one commenter, just the idea that there are legitimate reasons that people may not be aware of this particular issue. No hard feelings.
I get it, I really do. I just also understand why sneakypersimmon is so upset. She replied to a guy’s question with a simple answer and he became very aggressive….over a downvote. He berated her in multiple comments and said he no longer cared about women’s equality because of a downvote. When I mentioned that he could have easily searched it online, he became aggressive towards me. In his own words, he became aggressive because of a downvote. He said he no longer cares about women’s equality because of a downvote, but later calls his question “an act of love”.
I have absolutely nothing against you, I just hope you understand that tensions were already running high and instead of saying something to the aggressor, you replied to the one who was being targeted. It just seems a bit backwards to me.
Women are constantly pushed to the edge about things like this. We are harassed, berated, and assaulted when we do the most every day simple things like stick up for ourselves (not saying any of that applies you specifically). We are told our equality does not matter, we are talked down to, we are told we need to “be nice” to men who are aggressive towards us. It pushes us to our limits at times and this was one of those times.
Edit: All of this could have been avoided if favoredponcho said “I was unaware, thank you for informing me”. But he got pissy and threw a fit…because of a downvote.
Yeah, re-reading through the thread, it's clear everybody is getting heated and saying dumb shit, myself included. I should have done a better job taking into consideration the context and toned down my language in my comment. I don't have any ill will towards sneakypersimmon, and I understand why she's upset, and for good reason. Me calling out one aspect of her post was never meant to be an endorsement of everything leading up to it. Crossed wires in a tense subject I guess. Thank you for being understanding.
No worries dude. Consider it growth from messing up. I’ve done, we all do it. We will probably do it again and learn again. It’s just a good lesson in life.
Have yourself a good weekend and have a good smoke/drink/vice of your choice tonight :)
Those statements only came after favoredponcho and you attacked me.
I didn't attack you, but regardless, those statements don't magically carry more weight because you got into an argument online with an asshole.
"Chill the fuck out" when I wasn't the one to be un-chill about a question being answered.
Women are routinely chastised, ridiculed, slut-shamed, and fired for taking and sharing nudes, what are you on about?
I didn't say they weren't? You're getting pissy all over the thread because people haven't heard of this happening. I'm saying there are perfectly valid reasons why people may not be aware of it. Its not because everyone is a porn-brained asshole who hates women.
Acting like you had no idea women are negatively impacted when their nudes are leaked just makes you look real dumb honestly.
It's either that or feigned ignorance because you don't want to admit that gender inequality still exists.
Yeah I get pissy when men parade around "there's no gender equality issues, it's all class issues!". So what?
No, those aren't the only comments you're responding with that reaction to. There's multiple examples of people in this thread trying to broaden their awareness and you are being hostile for absolutely no fucking reason.
Acting like everybody is capable of being aware of every single issue when, again, we are all being lamblasted for our attention at every avenue, every hour of the day AND we as a society are becoming increasingly more and more aware of countless issues in the imperialist, capitalist hellscape that we live in, issues that MANY people had no idea existed, that just makes you look completely out of touch with reality.
Nobody can possibly be informed on every single issue. Yell at the assholes who say its not a real issue, absolutely, but when people are genuinely not aware, either help them or shut up and let someone else. Attacking potential allies just makes people hostile to your ideas.
I answered his question and he chastised ME because he got pissy about a downvote.
I DID answer his fucking question. With real cases.
What more do you want from me? Am I supposed to suck his dick while answering his question so that my message is more acceptable to the men in here?
EDIT: This is my original comment answering his question. I wasn't hostile to him AT ALL. https://lemmy.today/post/51339177/23611610?sort=New
To be clear, I'm responding to these statements.
My comments were never meant to defend the statements of that one commenter, just the idea that there are legitimate reasons that people may not be aware of this particular issue. No hard feelings.
All of those comments came AFTER you and favoredponcho decided I was being hostile for no reason.
Why do you feel like women are being hostile just by participating in discussion?
Why are you leading the question? Hostility is defined by the way you respond, it has nothing to do with your gender identity. And for no reason? Come on. I never claimed your initial comment was hostile, but your later comments disparaging anyone who wasn't aware of this are absolutely hostile. That has nothing to do with favoredponcho getting butthurt about downvotes. I apologize for coming on strong, that wasn't necessary, but the statements I called out are were valid criticisms. You're all over this thread calling out people's bad behavior, and again, I apologize for mine, but can you at least acknowledge that some of those statements were uncalled for?
What I said to favoredponcho was absolutely called for in my opinion. I did nothing but answer his question and I got called hostile and an asshole for it.
My comments to you were a bit harsh, but I'm still undecided whether I want to retract them or not. As far as I'm aware, I wasn't hostile to anyone in this thread unless they were a jerk back to me. I was simply participating in discussions.
Again, why didn't you reply to favoredponcho with his freakout at me and tell him to chill the fuck out? Why did you single ME out?
I didn't single you out, or I should say intend to single you out, but you already called out his bullshit. You did so though by throwing in your own bullshit (that nobody could possibly be unaware of one of the literally millions of issues in our hellish existence unless there was something wrong with them or they were lying).
He doubled down on his bullshit, and you continued in addressing that. I addressed your bullshit because I thought it should be addressed, admittedly by throwing in my own bullshit. I fucked up, I can admit that, but his bullshit doesn't excuse your bullshit, and your bullshit doesn't excuse my bullshit, and vice versa.
Everybody in this thread is getting heated and being shits in different ways. I've made my two cents, I apologize again for how I went about it, and I'm resigning myself from this thread. Have a good rest of your day.
Women don't have to stay meek and sweet in the face of being called a scold and an asshole for something as simple as answering a question. Favoredponcho revealed his own misogyny in his reply to me and I feel no qualms with being snarky back at him to be honest.
It is not my job to coddle men because I'm a woman. Period. I don't have to be sweet or nice or humble because a man has taken issue with my supposed tone.
I think you should examine why you singled out the woman in the argument on this particular topic to scold instead of the man who made it into an argument to begin with. You jumped in to help attack me with favoredponcho.
And I ask you to please consider that not everything has to do with your gender identity and just because somebody disagrees with you on something, that doesn't mean they endorse every other shitty idea put forth by every other asshole in the thread. Thank you!
It’s not just because you disagreed with me.
It’s because you saw a woman getting upset at a man’s aggressiveness and you decided to pile on the woman to tell her to stop being upset. You said so yourself.
Whether you recognize why you did so doesn’t matter to me. As an outspoken woman, I’ve encountered enough men that do this to know your motivations, subconscious or not.