this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2026
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33
Bottom dysphoria changing after HRT - why? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by destase@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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I’ve been on HRT for about 6 weeks now and I’m pretty sure I’m at female levels. Got a late start at 29 and I still strongly doubt that I’m even trans and should be doing this (seriously, my story is a weird one I think). I would quite welcome being cis because that would mean I don’t have to upend my life and essentially start over under 10x more difficult conditions. I considered myself agender for a long time and maybe I am.

Before HRT I considered myself very much vers. I do understand that severe bottom dysphoria is not needed to be trans, and I intended to do maintenance to retain my ability to top. Now that I’m actually into it, my feelings have changed.

I’ve read that a full erection once a day is needed to reliably retain full function, but that sounds quite unpleasant to me now? I just don’t want to do it, and I don’t really care if I never use my genitals to top again. I’m also finding myself more welcoming to the idea of SRS.

  • Is it due to the nature of HRT and changing sex drive? I mean, duh, estrogen
  • Is it due to repression breaking? Was I masking dysphoria before?
  • Is it because I have read and internalized that this is how I should feel, in some people’s opinion, and I am conforming to that?

I don’t think it’s really the last one - I also understand I have more sexual/dating prospects if I’m vers, and I think I kinda care about that more than some fringe viewpoints about validity

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[–] applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 4 days ago

So I'm not sure where you got the idea that you need to get an erection every day to maintain function, but that seems like a lot to me. From what I've heard you really only need one or two good ones a week, and that certainly seems to be working for me. I take tadalafil 5 mg per day to make it easier to get and keep an erection and I can just not take it on days I know I don't want to get an erection. It makes it very easy for me to get an erection with just a little arousal. Not saying you need to maintain but there are options that make it very manageable. You will want to maintain if you plan to get penile inversion so you get the depth you want.

The nice thing about bottom surgery is that it doesn't explicitly require you to choose penis or vagina, you can have both. It's called phallus preserving vaginoplasty, and at this point I feel pretty strongly it's what I want. I want to be able to bottom as a woman, but I also really like topping and my penis is really good for that. At least for me I've found the dysphoria I get about using my penis goes away when I see it as an option at my disposal as a woman rather than the only way I can have sex like I felt when I thought I was a man.