Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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Imo, worrying about labels like trans or agender haven't been that helpful for me and it's easier to just worry about what steps I'd like to take going forward. Also, librafem exists, so you can be transfem and agender-spec. It's not necessarily one or the other.
As for bottom dysphoria, I think it's normal to sometimes miss secondary or tertiary problems until the primary problem is addressed. Like, when painting the walls, at first the tiny mistakes might not seem important, but once you fix the bigger problems, those other problems now get your full attention. Or like, if you break one wrist, sprain the other wrist and elbow, and get some scrapes, you might just not care at all about the scapes and not notice the sprains at first. But if you only had the scrapes, then you'd care a lot about those.
Of course being aware that it's possible to at least slightly internalize other people's happiness with certain things and accidentally think that such is something you need as well can be good. Especially when you see constant memes celebrating bottom surgery. I doubt that it would trick someone who would otherwise be actively against the idea into someone who thinks they want it, but it certainly can nudge feelings a little.
I think there's some thing I have a instinctual positive reaction to just because of the memes celebrating those things, but it's easy to tell that the reaction isn't really reflective of what I want.
Thanks for the response! I agree with your first paragraph - I’m not trying to find an identity, I’m not trying to figure out pronouns, I’m trying to figure out hormones and surgeries. That’s it.
The choice I’m facing is to continue with an extremely difficult transition and maybe emerge much happier on the other end (and maybe not emerge at all), or continue doing whatever I’ve been doing for the past 10 years which apparently evaporated while I wasn’t paying attention.
I imagine there must be comfort in knowing “I am a woman, I must transition” or “I am a man, I must not”. I don’t have that, I’m just lost. Starting therapy tomorrow to hopefully work on that
While I can't say for certain, the past 10 years apparently evaporating could be a sign of some level of disassociation. Definitely something to ask your therapist about.
Agreed. Every change is its own journey and it doesn't help that I'm bad at recognizing my own emotions. Therapy probably wouldn't have helped work though things.