Transfem

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A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

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Some helpful links:

The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.

Support Hotlines:

The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.

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Bottom dysphoria changing after HRT - why? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by destase@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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I’ve been on HRT for about 6 weeks now and I’m pretty sure I’m at female levels. Got a late start at 29 and I still strongly doubt that I’m even trans and should be doing this (seriously, my story is a weird one I think). I would quite welcome being cis because that would mean I don’t have to upend my life and essentially start over under 10x more difficult conditions. I considered myself agender for a long time and maybe I am.

Before HRT I considered myself very much vers. I do understand that severe bottom dysphoria is not needed to be trans, and I intended to do maintenance to retain my ability to top. Now that I’m actually into it, my feelings have changed.

I’ve read that a full erection once a day is needed to reliably retain full function, but that sounds quite unpleasant to me now? I just don’t want to do it, and I don’t really care if I never use my genitals to top again. I’m also finding myself more welcoming to the idea of SRS.

Is it due to the nature of HRT and changing sex drive? I mean, duh, estrogen
Is it due to repression breaking? Was I masking dysphoria before?
Is it because I have read and internalized that this is how I should feel, in some people’s opinion, and I am conforming to that?

I don’t think it’s really the last one - I also understand I have more sexual/dating prospects if I’m vers, and I think I kinda care about that more than some fringe viewpoints about validity

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[–] destase@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Thanks for the response! I agree with your first paragraph - I’m not trying to find an identity, I’m not trying to figure out pronouns, I’m trying to figure out hormones and surgeries. That’s it.

The choice I’m facing is to continue with an extremely difficult transition and maybe emerge much happier on the other end (and maybe not emerge at all), or continue doing whatever I’ve been doing for the past 10 years which apparently evaporated while I wasn’t paying attention.

I imagine there must be comfort in knowing “I am a woman, I must transition” or “I am a man, I must not”. I don’t have that, I’m just lost. Starting therapy tomorrow to hopefully work on that

[–] thoughtfuldragon@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 4 days ago

While I can't say for certain, the past 10 years apparently evaporating could be a sign of some level of disassociation. Definitely something to ask your therapist about.

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@reddthat.com 3 points 4 days ago

I imagine there must be comfort in knowing “I am a woman, I must transition” or “I am a man, I must not”. I don’t have that, I’m just lost. Starting therapy tomorrow to hopefully work on that

Agreed. Every change is its own journey and it doesn't help that I'm bad at recognizing my own emotions. Therapy probably wouldn't have helped work though things.