this post was submitted on 11 Apr 2026
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Off My Chest

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Hey, im 20M. I have only dated and thought abt dating women. I only get turned on by women. However, I like dressing up like a girl, sometimes. Sometimes, ill throw on thigh highs and wear an oversized sweater when im home alone. Im just so confused about this. I have never felt an urge to date men... so why exactly do I do these things? I feel so confused, and I have been this way for years. Up until last year I never dressed or experimented being more "girly". I do this all in the privacy of my bedroom, never outside of it.

Thanks for reading

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[–] LagFlex@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Thank you for your reply, that was extremely insightful and you helped me feel less insecure about myself. It's just clothes at the end of the day, it's all fabric at the end of the day. Maybe it is a kink!

I do feel like I escape the world a lot when I do dress up. It feels good, I never feel ashamed of dressing up just as long as it's in my own bedroom. I do not feel the need to do what I do in public, and that is okay and I am happy!

Thank you again, and thank you for everyone here for not judging me about this! I feel really good about myself and will continue to enjoy this hobby :)

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's great!

I hope you continue to have a lot of guilt/insecurity free enjoyment exploring the clothing options :)

As a suggestion, shop carefully if you decide to try higher heels, especially stilettos. Some of the shoes out there designed for the average woman's body can end up a little weak where the heel is attached. So if you're an average to larger guy (or a larger woman), heels can be fragile since even at the same height, most men carry more mass. I used to hear drag performers complain about it (one in particular, Doug, was taaaaaall, like 6 foot 7, and built big). But there are shoes out there that are built to be both sturdy and cute/sexy. They're supposedly more expensive, though I've never shopped for them to verify that.

[–] luthis@lemmy.nz 3 points 1 week ago

There's a whole movie about exactly that called Kinky Boots