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See I don't feel gender is bs but I think I may get what you mean. To me gender is just another term for anotomical sex or such and sorta bridges to nicety titles like mr or mrs. I assume you mean the idea of women being like x and men being like y which is really just stereotypes. I mean I don't think sterotypes exist for no reason. My peoples are known for drinking and if you go to a wedding or funeral for my family there will be nothing to make that stereotype less valid. But I don't drink much at all. So little it is going to be at a minimum months apart and more often than not years apart. Likely have one within a decade. My wife and I buy something and have it years later. Its kinda funny when the doc asks if I drink because its like yeah but by most peoples standards no. Then still many cultures are known for drinking and those that are not still drink a lot on all sorts of occasions.
From a philosophy standpoint - it is way more complicated than that.
Gender is sort of like a book genre. People made it up. It groups a bunch of ideas around physical sex that don't really have anything to do with it directly. It's sort of like stereotypes but it's also an amalgamation of history and how people express. You can have a culture where gender has hard rules or soft ones. You can have a gender expectation what a culture rewards people of a specific sex for doing or punishes them for not doing. Gender expression where there is a way of culturally displaying gender to others based on a cultural idea of what those sexes represent and how people think they differ : clothes, the way you act and so on.
The thing is these things are all not set in stone. They are all just cultural baggage.
Sex is just the thing gender chooses as it's centerpoint of creating all this fiction.
I just never though of it like this. When I talked with people saying male/female or man/women or dude/gal was kinda all the same. Sorta just depended on setting from clinical to casual. All the cultural things were sorta stuff just lopped on top. Its meaning kinda dependent on the individuals with some folks seeing them as some sort of law of nature and others as tendencies. I find the higher denisity the place one lives the less one is likely to go the law of nature route.