Hi, I'm Azura! I am so happy I have found my way to this community.
Self Realization
This year I've been checking out lemmy. Just lurking around, being mostly drawn to !transmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone and !196@lemmy.blahaj.zone because reading your posts and comments gave me this weird, funny, wholesome warmth that I just couldn't explain. "Like joy, but it hits differently".
relevant memes (spoiler)
One comment lead me to look up the "egg prime directive". 2nd search result was an article title Am I Trans, which answers the question, but - as the title implies - also goes beyond. And... oh girl, was that an emotional roller coaster! It's so suspiciously on point, I still need to figure out if the author (Cassie LaBelle) is secretly me from the future.
Early on in adolescence I started "accepting" that I wasn't afab and learned to suppress my feelings, to keep my fantasies in my dreams. I've actually asked myself several times throughout my life if I should consider a "transsexual transition", but my archaic understanding of the concepts made the whole thing appear scarier than it is. "What's to gain if I don't even hate myself"?
Gladly, the Am I Trans article cleared up a lot of my misunderstandings and fears. And the posts on lemmy.blahaj.zone gave me so much joy and hope! I knew that denying it any longer was hopeless. Not just becoming a woman, but the thought of having always been one feels oddly right to me. So, on my favorite day of the year, I hit that turn-me-into-a-girl.com button and transformed my lack of self hate into actual self love. Now here I am! As of writing: ✨ still closeted ✨
But I'm working on a coming out. I am certain that my friends, coworkers and close family are all supportive, which is a great privilege.
About me
I'm about 30-ish, a programmer and political activist. I boycott eating animals. I live in a small city in Germany. I guess I can start considering myself a mom? No clue how long one has to wait for HRT here, but maybe my daughter and I will both hit puberty in parallel 😅
Shout out to @TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone and @QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works, your posts were the stars that guided me through the night🥚.
Love, Azura
Wait, almost forgot to add a photo. It hints at how I came up with the name "Azura".
photo of me (spoiler)
That's also my primary association, though my memory of Owl House is foggy. But honestly I chose this nickname because
spoiler
when I mentioned that my blue hair unintentionally turned out slightly purple, a coworker accurately pointed out it's literally azure.