this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2026
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God I cannot stand Carlson. He always has this "Im asking tough questions" vibe, pausing every 3 words. But his statements are always simultaneously the most ridiculous uninsightful shit ever.
"Theres a rumor that Trump didnt put his hand on the bible. Is it because that... (pause for 5 secs)... perhaps... (pause for 5 seconds)... sees himself as God?" (Pauses for 10 secs now as if he said something even remotely profound)
You know how there's always a bunch of spelling and grammar errors in scam emails?
It's because they want to weed out the intelligent ones because they will catch on fast and thus they aren't worth the scammers time as a mark.
Those pauses? Same thing. He gives you a few seconds to think about what he said. If you can't figure out that he's batshit insane in those few seconds, you're the ~~mark~~ target audience.
Alex Jones did/does the same thing while trying to channel his inner Howard Beale for the climax of each monologue.
[Pictured: Tucker Carlson's vinegar ropes]
Dad's getting way too into cable tv news right now (I think to cope) and he watches Lawrence O'Donnell religiously on MSNBC every night. I use that term intentionally, because I feel like he speaks just like a preacher giving a sermon would. Maybe like Tucker, these pregnant pauses, showing how rationally and maturely he can speak. I can't stand it lol.