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Anything happining to my kids. Like, I've always been afraid of things. Heights, small spaces, diseases, global catastrophies, etc, but having kids flipped those fears around from "What would happen to me?" to "What would happen to them?" Even the things that could happen to me, like what if I fell from a height is now "What if my kids lost their dad because I fell from a height?"
And the worst part is I know bad things will happen to them in their lives. It's not a matter of If I die, it's when. They are going to have that experience some day, and the best I can do to prepare them for it is delay it as long as possible while raising them to be emotionally secure and rational adults.
Same. It's my Kryptonite. I can't let my mind go to the prospect of them being physically harmed. But even the mental stuff is horrible. They will have their hearts broken. They might get divorced. At some point they'll feel lost. I just hope I can help.
My dad recently passed away suddenly but there's a saying he used to tell me that has helped me through the grieving process. He used to always say that life has yin and yang. That we couldn’t feel rested if we didn’t know exhaustion, fullness without hunger, or happiness without sorrow.
Having this perspective has helped me accept that all of the joy, laughter, and warmth he brought me has to be balanced with the sadness I feel when he's gone.
You don't have to use the exact same analogy but I think the general philosophy is helpful.
Super scary