Lemmy Shitpost
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I was surprised to learn that there are many women who have never had an orgasm. And that pressure to have one has become yet another social imperative women never asked for. Why shame the woman? Should they not have agency over their own bodies? The implication that it's a failing of their partner suggests that it's beyond their control.
It feels like a very male-centric outlook to view orgasms as essential to sex. Of course, one would assume women could take matters into their own hands, so to speak, but I've been told by female friends that, for many women, it's not as simple as that, psychologically.
My own opinion is that, in our race for equality (which I support), we've often chosen to flatten gender differences rather than celebrate or acknowledge them. We've assumed that sexuality/desire/impulse/physiology is the same across genders, and that differences are down to individual mindsets rather than biological. I think it's both, but we've neglected the latter.
There was a study about womens sexual satisfaction in long term relationships and a high percentage said they were not satisfied.
Its not just about orgasms specifically I'd bet, and unfortunately a lot of men don't really think about the womans pleasure during sex, they get off and then they're done.
Of course I'm sure there's not really a way to blanket say what the problem ultimately is as it depends on the situation/people.
Yep, I think it's a mixed bag and isn't always just about male sexual selfishness. I think it's common to conflate a perceived 'failure' on the man's part with selfishness, when in reality it's often the opposite. I expect many man feel pressure to get their partners 'over the line' and that in itself presents insecurities and psychological barriers that are often ridiculed but are a manifestation of that pressure. As always communication is always key, and improving that is something that men and women can only benefit from.
I myself don't view orgasms as essential to sex. At least not anymore. I am a bit saddened that my gf says she has never had an orgasm. And I don't think anyone in particular is to blame here.