Lesbians

I am certain that I am a lesbian, as I am attracted to women and nonbinary people that consider themselves sapphic, but regardless of expression (masc, fem, or andro). I'm not REPULSED by dating men, I'm just indifferent, though back when I identified as lesbian before, I hated the idea and thought that people being straight was being shoved down my throat as all I heard was "you just haven't met the right guy yet" and all the girls I hung out with only liked men and talked constantly about men so I just felt alone.

Now, though, I'm just indifferent, as I said. They don't really attract me, but I do like male characters a lot platonically and connect with them so when I find a good MLM ship between two male characters I like, I think of myself and my girlfriend.

For example, I don't really wanna be WITH the hot heroic guy in a movie or show, but I do wanna be him and get the girl or whatever. (I'm comfortable being a girl and don't currently fit in with other gender labels though, I am not trans FtM)

Every time I got with a dude, it felt more like I had a platonic bond I could share my interests with at best, or just a guy I could show off so I could talk with the straight and bi ladies about having a boyfriend too. I, to be honest, felt bad for them because they seemed so sweet and I would be turning them down, so I decided to give them a chance and I was convinced I "needed" a man because my straight/bi girl friends would say "I need a man!!" when they were single.

And people could never relate to me, because I'd always wanna talk about the first attractive people that came to my mind: women. They would wanna talk about handsome boys at school, guy actors and characters, hunks, gay romance, etc. but I'd always like to talk about lesbian romance, woman actresses and characters, the pretty girls at school but "too bad they're straight". I'd mainly find sapphic girls I had a deep connection to attractive, though I can form a crush on almost any girl I'm close with at least a little bit and I'm super romantic.

Boys, in my mind, as in guy characters, were always fun to tease, whereas lady characters always seemed like actual beautiful people I'd crush on and get into relationships with.

So yeah, I've concluded that I'm a lesbian. Is this a "canon event"? Can many lesbians relate??