Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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So you are asking about something that seems simple, but is actually many different components working together. Apple and google have really made this integrated for a long time.
What you want is:
I've left out all the plumbing needed to either support your access to this, or provide secure integration with a 3rd party email service.
This is a hard problem to solve for self-hosting. I have a self-hosted radicale instance and I get around the inter-connectivity by simply exporting ICS files and sending them to folks. Updating meeting times, setting calendar sharing is all very difficult because of above.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but you're saying shared/sync'd and updateable calendars outside of big tech like google is still an unsolved problem?
I’ve been looking into this a bit already. I’m actually on a road trip and will start driving soon, but if your respond to this comment I can fill you in on what I’ve learning in the next day or two.
never hurts to learn.