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My father passed away recently and his wife who he was separated from did not want to relinquish her rights to plan his funeral. Up until last Friday she had been respectful of what my brother and I, my dad's only biological children, have asked for.
However, on Friday she published the viewing and funeral dates on Facebook without consulting us. They're on days my brother can't come home since he's working out of the country. When my family asked to change it, she said she had formed a committee for the funeral made of my dad's close friends and to ask them to change it. Of course, she only did this to avoid responsibility for the date.
When I called one of the men on the committee and gave him a list of reasons to change the date, he basically said the plans were set and the notifications sent out. I replied that nothing was set in stone and that we could re-upload the obit. I further explained that my brother and I were hurt we were left out of the funeral planning and that it didn't have to be this difficult since there was availability a few weeks after the selected dates. His response was, "It's not. Just go with the flow".
I was so stunned I didn't know how to respond. I couldn't believe the audacity from him saying this was not a difficult situation and for us to just accept their decisions. In the end, I told him that it was hard enough dealing with my dad's death without all this added stress of being left out. I didn't want to be overly rude since they could easily change their minds and cremate my dad without telling us anything.
TLDR: Brother and I were left out of the funeral planning for our father and when I asked to change the date for my brother to be able to attend, I was told to "Just go with the flow"