Sometimes I catch myself thinking about the “good old days”. When you could just write some code, compile it, and run it without worrying about all the dependencies, the build tools, the client-side rendering, the server-side rendering, the server components, and all the other buzzwords that are thrown around in the web dev world… just code doing its thing.

And honestly, I think that feeling isn’t totally wrong. Maybe we can make things simpler, faster, more straightforward again.

So naturally… I decided to embrace the future by going back to the past: COBOL.

Here’s my (100% serious, definitely not questionable) migration story.

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[–] queerlilhayseed@piefed.blahaj.zone 7 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

In this fast-paced modern life, I find that I have too many complex thoughts in my head all the time. Thanks to Dr. Dijkstra's patented COBOL regimen, my brain is free and clear of any thought complex enough to hurt it. Thanks COBOL!

[–] queerlilhayseed@piefed.blahaj.zone 4 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

For anyone unfamiliar with Dr. Dijkstra's work in the field of psychotherapeutic COBOL: https://www.cs.virginia.edu/~evans/cs655/readings/ewd498.html

[–] AudaciousArmadillo@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 points 8 hours ago

Projects promoting programming in "natural language" are intrinsically doomed to fail.

🤫

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offence.

Dr. Dijkstra, 1975

[–] queerlilhayseed@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

The whole paper is full of bangers. I like to imagine that he nailed it to the door of the university library.

About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.

Projects promoting programming in "natural language" are intrinsically doomed to fail.

Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability.

EWD found an optimal path to my heart. He's one of my all-time favorites.