this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2026
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A very large asteroid (>500km) would be a good attempt at 'shattering'. (much like how the moon formed, in theory) Otherwise, a "small" black hole or other cosmic-scale forces would do the trick. A near by blazar would easily sterilize the planet if it were aimed at us, but there are none such objects we have yet observed. (luckily)
The sun itself is easily capable of smearing Earth out, but the real question is "how?". Even a crazy CME aimed directly at Earth would barely be able to wipe out technology, let alone life. A close call with another solar system would definitely stand a solid chance of wiping out life as we know it, but it wouldn't necessarily be terribly quick.
It'd be very predictable in that we'd be able to see another solar system coming for decades/centuries/longer, and many changes would still be longer than a human lifespan (outside of the final 'kick' event, which could be over in a matter of weeks/months and leave the surface freezing and potentially devoid of much atmosphere).
So we can consider our sun dying and Andromeda colliding with the milky way as crappy backstops.5 billion years for a maybe is not great. I don't know about you, but I don't have that kind of patience. We need fresh ideas. I like your singularity idea, but getting crushed isn't as artistically coherent as a quality shattering and if you've checked the price of singularities these days, its not really in the budget.
I think the most viable option I've heard so far is a mega asteroid. Do you know any suitable candidates for rent?
Well there's always Ceres (~945km), Pallas (~512km), or Vesta(~525km), though they're more dwarf planet than asteroid, so that might be pretty pricy to aim at Earth.
There are several asteroids in the 200-500km range (5-10 if you're lucky), but not too many. It seems Earth shattering is a pretty premo business in this solar system!