this post was submitted on 29 Mar 2026
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Asking someone if they have time to talk, no response is the same as a "no".
Asking someone "Hey I wanna go to this concert on Friday, should I buy two tix and we'll go together?" means you need an immediate response or you're either going to miss the concert or piss off your friend.
The purpose of being polite is to reduce social frictions.
Here's what would piss me of the most:
"Hey, I got a question. Do you have time to talk?"
Me not knowing what this is about or how long it would take to answer this mysterious question of yours: "not right now, gonna text you in the evening"
Me (later): "So what was your question?"
"I wanted to go to that concert on Friday. But now all of the tickets are gone and I'm going alone, lmao"
I HAD enough time to answer a simple yes/no question. I hate it when people ask if I have time to text. At least give me a fucking hint like "hey I got a short question: its about the concert on Friday". Asking if one has time to text causes the most social friction IMO but the least visible friction (to you).
In that situation, when you asked her later, your friend should've said "Oh don't worry about it, I was able to resolve it without you, but thanks for checking in," and then changed the subject.
I'd hate to be treated that way. Ofc it's fine if this is the social norm for you and people around you.
(Me after someone tells me 'oh don't worry about it')