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I never said a sex shop was going to be bad, I mostly said the opposite. I used it as an example that when a child walks into a physical space meant for adults, the community helps. When a child walks into a digital space meant for adults it's expected their parent was watching at all times and failed.
I also completely agree with your assessment of good and bad places/neighborhoods being often used as a cover for classism and racism.
That being said there are places near here I would not let young kids play unsupervised because of the crime rate, homelessness and open drug use. There are places near here I do let kids of an appropriate age okay unsupervised because they are nice safe parks and areas even if they're poor neighborhoods. In fact some of these I feel are safer because there are more kids playing and parents aren't shy to tell other kids off when they misbehave like they are in "rich" neighbourhoods.
Same with people's houses. Obviously looking for "shared values" can be a cover for racism, but I'm not a cis-white-straight-nt-male looking for a socio-normative house. I'm not looking for them to be white and rich, I'm looking for parents who care about their kids without being too helicopter-y.
I think you read my message backwards. I meant to say that physical spaces are usually safe for kids even the spaces meant to be adults only. In digital spaces we accomplished the opposite where most spaces are dangerous, even "kids spaces". But instead of seeing this as a problem caused purposefully by the companies creating and curating these spaces to maximize profit and right wing ideology, we blame only parents for not micro managing their kids. I see digital hypervigilant supervision as a parenting survival strategy rather than a good long term solution. We need more control over our algorithms and digital spaces so that they're safe-by-default like physical spaces are.