this post was submitted on 29 Mar 2026
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I couldn't decide if this belonged in lascivious lesbians or femcelmemes, so I said fuck it and dumped it here :3

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[–] yetAnotherUser@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 days ago

I'd argue that face-to-face dating is also a form of roleplaying. People often want to only show their brightest side at the first dates, so they try, for example, to not react too negatively to things they don't like, or to not talk about their problems, or to pretend that they aren't that desperate to find someone (in some cases). And if putting up a bit of a social facade isn't a form of roleplaying, I don't know what is.

It's not like the problem of the "chain of insecurity", as you put it, disappears when meeting IRL either. People can still definitively say things they don't mean and mean things they don't want. That doesn't just go away. And perhaps this has to do with how dating itself works. I mean, when you're dating, doesn't that mean that you're trusting the other person to be true about their intentions, and to respect you if you decide to open up about something personal? That's probably why so many people advise to take it slow when starting to date. The two people dating most likely don't know each other very well yet in the beginning, and they need to build their trust on each other, which takes time.

There are lots of good reasons to not like online dating, but I don't think that the relationship being more fake than when dating IRL is one of them.

(P.S. I've never really dated myself, I'm just grabbing stuff I've heard out there and trying to throw it at a wall to see what sticks. But now that I think about it, I'd say most of what I said somewhat applies to making friends too, so I think I'm not just making things up.)