this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2026
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One about killed a woman by not identifying her pregnancy is ectopic. Many anti abortion folks are convinced that even ectopic pregnancies can be viable.

These places promise things like free pregnancy tests and medical advice to get people in the door.

They really just exist to pressure women into not getting abortions. They will lie through their teeth - all the classics, like suggesting that an abortion makes it impossible to get pregnant again, or that abortion causes cancer - they’ll say anything to prevent an abortion.

They are pretty much completely unregulated, and present themselves as secular non profits.

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[–] FearMeAndDecay@literature.cafe 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Oh yeah, I wasn’t trying to say it was a girls v boys thing but rather to point out the gender stereotypes those in charge were pushing as part of the message. They always assumed that girls don’t have to be told to not masturbate bc women aren’t sexual, men are. And yet, they had to constantly tell the girls to not dress slutty and tempt the boys. We were all taught fucked up things, they just changed it up slightly between the boys and girls to fit gender stereotypes

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Oh, valid. Yeah, I remember being told "Guys think about sex every 11 seconds, that means we have to work really hard all the time to keep our minds pure, while women's minds are just pure by default."

I basically internalized this messaging that as guys, we're inherently perverted, disgusting, aberrant, and impure beings who need to constantly remain vigilant and fight with ourselves to keep our animalistic nature in check. You know, to protect women's chastity of course, because without us they would be perfectly pure beings with no sexuality whatsoever. Apparently...

[–] FearMeAndDecay@literature.cafe 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That’s so fucked up. I always felt bad for the guys in my class because a lot of them were really sweet but some clearly internalized that messaging in the same way you did. No one should be made to feel like they’re a monster and inherently dangerous

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Yeah, it took me deep into my twenties to unlearn all those subconscious patterns. It took a lot of digging, which at times felt like wandering blindly through a labyrinth. It wasn't a comfortable process, and there were many dead ends. At times I even wound up basically torturing myself in a misguided attempt to rewire my brain. No doubt informed by the underlying assumption that I'm somehow inherently evil and deserved the self-torture, as if the most virtuous thing I could do for the rest of my life was punish myself for being born.

I'm a lot healthier now, and I'm not sure how much of that was necessary, but ultimately it wasn't an easy process to deprogram myself, especially when I found very little social support when what I really needed was healthy mentorship, social acceptance and integration, and basically any good influences to drown out all the echos in my mind of voices from my past...

Like, this whole assumption we see so commonly, where guys have everything so easy and aren't harmed by the patriarchy too, it really needs to change, because it is harmful. Real feminists like bell hooks and carol gilligan acknowledge that.

I'm not claiming women don't have it bad, but whenever I even mention that men also face societal problems, I get flamed by pseudo-feminists who seem to believe "smash the patriarchy" means "bully any man who shows vulnerability or weakness." It's really sad.