this post was submitted on 27 Mar 2026
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Imagine if that was one long spaghetti and you could just suck the whole thing without chewing.
You're so unbelievably wrong, and let me explain why in this comment.
There is no physical way to efficiently and effectively cook a single spaghetti noodle, as no commercial cookware would accommodate such a noodle.
Furthermore, removing the noodle and placing it in a plate without the gargantuan noodle separating into smaller noodles, due to weight and lateral shearing, would be unheard of due to the physics of the gravity of the world's... physics.
Here I have included a link to my sources to you can educate yourself, you silly silly SILLY goose
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33374933/
How about a fresh (as in not dried) spaghetti noodle that's passed directly from the extrusion, through a trough of boiling water with a conveyor belt to move it along and support the weight, then direct to the plate?
Well that would be fantastic, if not for Article 128 in the Costituzione Della Repubblica Italiana; as this states no pasta may be cooked directly from extrusion, except in the circumstances of impending death, as laid out in Article 110. So you may certainly try such a procedure, but you risk becoming an international criminal.
I've looked at it from every angle, as I am certified the best master debater.
This is actually how internet debates go. I should know, I'm an expert!