this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2026
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In the many times I’ve had men (and some women ffs) force this explanation upon me, they usually:
Have fundamental misunderstanding of what feminism is. They often think women want dominance over them or something, giving them a victim complex.
Support feminist values in theory, but get annoyed when literally anything at all is asked of them to contribute to meaningful change. (see also: systemic racism)
Neither of these are an excuse and I’m so exhausted hearing them over and over.
Edit - oh, damnit, I didn't see what community I was posting in. Hello from /all. Sorry to intrude!
It's fine thanks for editing your comment it's really respectful ❤️
I think the logic on #1 (though they probably don't consciously realize this) is women have generally been treated terribly for millennia, they don't want the same treatment themselves.
There also is a fair amount of (very understandable) misandry mixed in with feminism. Not that all feminists are misandrists but all misandrists are feminists and this is amplified in media.
Misandrists are fake feminists
Real feminists are not misandrists
All misandrists are feminists? That’s simply not true.
Yes? I have never met someone who hates men that also thinks women deserve fewer rights than them.
Your personal experiences are not universal truths.
Dude. We’re talking about a person who hates men and boys but also thinks women should have fewer rights and opportunities than them. What would that even look like?
Feminism is about equality for all genders at its root. Misandrists are not feminists.
Damn women can’t even have their own movement? Its giving “all lives matter.”
Your ignorance on the subject doesn't grant you the ability to redefine what feminism is.
“Sexes” not genders this movement predates any discourse on trans rights and related. This movement has always been about women hence the name. Then “organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests”. If you think women should be able to vote, own property, have bank accounts, have bodily autonomy, etc. You are for women’s rights and interests, and it is possible to hate men at the same time. In the same way that a black person can hate white people and still fight for racial equality. It’s not ideal but it is possible. You are both redefining the word and gatekeeping entry to the movement.
I’m a man and I do not care if a feminist feels some kinda way about men. They have really good reasons to. Maybe they’ll feel better if and when those reasons go away. Hopefully I can earn their trust by being an ally to them. You don’t get to kick them out of the movement.
Also you keep insisting on commenting in here, but this is a women's only space.
Kindly fuck off.
Misandrists are not automatically feminists because they hate men.
Feminism is not inherently about hating men. It's about equality for everyone.
I have been saying that. Feminists are not misandrists, but Misandrists can be feminists and always are because of course they would choose to be. You can be both, some people are, and media focuses on them to undermine feminism.
You said ALL misandrists are feminists.
Do you even read what you write or do you just spew it out like diarrhea?
Read it again everything I’ve said is consistent. They are all feminists but not all feminists are misandrists. Someone who is anti men is going to be pro women’s rights, not by definition but because they always are.
You've never met a nihilist lol
Seriously, go away. This community isn't for you and your insistence to share your opinion as a man is not welcome here.
We don't want to hear your opinion.
This makes sense if you have a zero-sum world view.
It also makes sense when you realize they're fine with a negative sum as long as they get a larger share, but they understand that saying that would get them in trouble.
Then there's the rarer #3 (but still very nice when it happens):
Those are the good allies <3 and I try to focus on those things. Pessimism makes us feel desperate and lack the will for action. Focus on the good we have wrought so far!
Yeah, though in my experience, those men are genuinely curious and asking good faith questions to begin with, rather than just fire-hosing their opinion.
I guess I was mainly complaining about the unsolicited opinions I hear when the topic comes up (and sometimes, when it didn't... -_-).