this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2026
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[–] renegadespork@lemmy.jelliefrontier.net 111 points 1 week ago (3 children)

In the many times I’ve had men (and some women ffs) force this explanation upon me, they usually:

  1. Have fundamental misunderstanding of what feminism is. They often think women want dominance over them or something, giving them a victim complex.

  2. Support feminist values in theory, but get annoyed when literally anything at all is asked of them to contribute to meaningful change. (see also: systemic racism)

Neither of these are an excuse and I’m so exhausted hearing them over and over.

[–] Murse@slrpnk.net 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Edit - oh, damnit, I didn't see what community I was posting in. Hello from /all. Sorry to intrude!

It's fine thanks for editing your comment it's really respectful ❤️

[–] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I think the logic on #1 (though they probably don't consciously realize this) is women have generally been treated terribly for millennia, they don't want the same treatment themselves.

[–] youCanCallMeDragon@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago (2 children)

There also is a fair amount of (very understandable) misandry mixed in with feminism. Not that all feminists are misandrists but all misandrists are feminists and this is amplified in media.

Misandrists are fake feminists

Real feminists are not misandrists

[–] sneakypersimmon@lemmy.today 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

All misandrists are feminists? That’s simply not true.

[–] youCanCallMeDragon@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Yes? I have never met someone who hates men that also thinks women deserve fewer rights than them.

[–] sneakypersimmon@lemmy.today 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Your personal experiences are not universal truths.

[–] youCanCallMeDragon@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Dude. We’re talking about a person who hates men and boys but also thinks women should have fewer rights and opportunities than them. What would that even look like?

[–] sneakypersimmon@lemmy.today 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Feminism is about equality for all genders at its root. Misandrists are not feminists.

[–] youCanCallMeDragon@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Damn women can’t even have their own movement? Its giving “all lives matter.”

[–] sneakypersimmon@lemmy.today 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

feminism

noun

fem·​i·​nism ˈfe-mə-ˌni-zəm

: belief in and advocacy of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes expressed especially through organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests.

Your ignorance on the subject doesn't grant you the ability to redefine what feminism is.

[–] youCanCallMeDragon@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago (2 children)

“Sexes” not genders this movement predates any discourse on trans rights and related. This movement has always been about women hence the name. Then “organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests”. If you think women should be able to vote, own property, have bank accounts, have bodily autonomy, etc. You are for women’s rights and interests, and it is possible to hate men at the same time. In the same way that a black person can hate white people and still fight for racial equality. It’s not ideal but it is possible. You are both redefining the word and gatekeeping entry to the movement.

I’m a man and I do not care if a feminist feels some kinda way about men. They have really good reasons to. Maybe they’ll feel better if and when those reasons go away. Hopefully I can earn their trust by being an ally to them. You don’t get to kick them out of the movement.

[–] sneakypersimmon@lemmy.today 1 points 2 days ago

Also you keep insisting on commenting in here, but this is a women's only space.

Kindly fuck off.

[–] sneakypersimmon@lemmy.today 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Misandrists are not automatically feminists because they hate men.

Feminism is not inherently about hating men. It's about equality for everyone.

[–] youCanCallMeDragon@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I have been saying that. Feminists are not misandrists, but Misandrists can be feminists and always are because of course they would choose to be. You can be both, some people are, and media focuses on them to undermine feminism.

[–] sneakypersimmon@lemmy.today 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Not that all feminists are misandrists but all misandrists are feminists and this is amplified in media.

You said ALL misandrists are feminists.

Do you even read what you write or do you just spew it out like diarrhea?

[–] youCanCallMeDragon@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Read it again everything I’ve said is consistent. They are all feminists but not all feminists are misandrists. Someone who is anti men is going to be pro women’s rights, not by definition but because they always are.

[–] sneakypersimmon@lemmy.today 1 points 2 days ago

You've never met a nihilist lol

Seriously, go away. This community isn't for you and your insistence to share your opinion as a man is not welcome here.

We don't want to hear your opinion.

[–] renegadespork@lemmy.jelliefrontier.net 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This makes sense if you have a zero-sum world view.

[–] Tiresia@slrpnk.net 17 points 1 week ago

It also makes sense when you realize they're fine with a negative sum as long as they get a larger share, but they understand that saying that would get them in trouble.

[–] birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Then there's the rarer #3 (but still very nice when it happens):

  1. They were ignorant at first, and then taught about it, and then realised it, and work on it and speak on other men when they behave badly.

Those are the good allies <3 and I try to focus on those things. Pessimism makes us feel desperate and lack the will for action. Focus on the good we have wrought so far!

[–] renegadespork@lemmy.jelliefrontier.net 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yeah, though in my experience, those men are genuinely curious and asking good faith questions to begin with, rather than just fire-hosing their opinion.

I guess I was mainly complaining about the unsolicited opinions I hear when the topic comes up (and sometimes, when it didn't... -_-).