Polyamory

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A community for discussion of Polyamory as well as other Ethical Non-Monogamy styles.

Simple rules:

Discussions around Polyamory specifically, or Ethical Non-Monogamy in general only.
Don't be a dick.
NSFW content is allowed in discussion (i.e. talking about sex is fine) but pornographic images are not.

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Crackhappy@lemmy.world

How do you start relationships? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 2 weeks ago by Lux@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/polyamory@lemmy.world

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I realized I was poly around 2 years ago. For most of the time since then, I was with a partner that wanted to be poly, but just wasn't. Since breaking up, I've had a few hookups with a coworker, but didn't feel like continuing with them.

I currently have crushes on at least 4 different people, but I don't know how to do anything about them. I doubt most of them are open to polyamory, and I'm scared of seeming like a creep. What situations is it even ok to ask someone out?

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[–] CarnivorousCouch@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I hate to say it, but you need to talk to the people you're interested in. There's a variety of ways to do this. You could ask one on a date, and then mention polyamory when having the "what are you looking for" conversation. Or you could bring up polyamory casually and see how they feel about it, outside of a "dating you" context.

But, at the end of the day, you have to do the hard work of talking about your interests, feelings, and desires if you want to establish and maintain intimacy with someone. If I were friends with someone, I might choose the "bring poly stuff up" tactic to get a vibe check before proceeding. If these are more strangers, then I'd ask if they wanted to grab lunch or coffee sometime and use that to break the ice.

Edit: you can use Feeld, too, if you want. I think it has a larger proportion of poly folks than any other app I'm aware of. I met one of my partners there.