this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2026
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Anyone notice how all (well intentioned) advice for autistic people is just "mask harder"? (lemmy.ca)
submitted 3 weeks ago by sveltecider@lemmy.ca to c/autism@lemmy.world
74 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

What the title says. Well intentioned, often other "neurodivergent" people look at your life, your autism, and say: "you should mask harder."

For example, I accidentally said something that offended a friend. Won't go into detail, but it was me unintentionally coming off as arrogant, not something bad like a slur or hate speech.

I asked for advice (elsewhere) and the advice was universally, "you see, NT avoid this topic at all costs. Going forwards, know it is best to avoid this topic."

But isn't this just saying "mask harder and be more palatable for everyone else"?

Every piece of "autism advice" I see even in "neurodivergent friendly" communities is basically "how to be less autistic."

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[–] Triasha@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

I'm not diagnosed autistic or any other form of neurodivergent. To the day if someone asks "how are you?" I might give a real answer. "Not good, my cat is sick and I'm worried he might be dying" was one I gave last year, to a food service worker. He gave me a discount that day, acknowledged that that doesn't make it better but he did something to show he saw me and we have been a lot more friendly since then.

I don't dump on him every time I see him, because I genuinely have good days, but he lights up when he sees me, and that makes me happy too.