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Did you do psychedelics, by chance?
I’ve done almost everything (even opiates now, I thought I’d never touch them but the hospital begged to differ, and they were right… at least for a week) and the biggest change to my life was actually a random k-hole I put myself in maybe 18 years ago. I didn’t intend to hole, but oops! I laid there with my eyes closed and all of the stresses and problems in my life were laid out visually in front of me as… tiles? Spinning tiles? And a whole bunch of things and thoughts and whatnot happened, and I realized fully that I had some toxic people in my life, and I could just… don’t! I could just don’t, whenever I want, and for no reason at all! So after that night, if there was someone toxic at a thing i was going to attend or someone I didn’t wanna be around hanging out with a mate, I just… didn’t. I just said “nah I’m good” and my life got insanely better only seeing people ever who were good for me.
Despite many DMT breakthroughs (soooo cool) and heroic amounts of acid (man it’s been half a year now, it’s about time to trip again!) I never got anything spiritual out of substances.
Haha, I had the same experience with my anxiety and shrooms. Realized I could just don't.
But my conclusion is different, because I view realizations like that as spiritual in nature.
Well then I DID have some spiritual stuff going on if that counts! I suppose I have also experienced… entities? on n,n-DMT breakthroughs. All extremely positive, but incredibly intense.
It’s definitely time to try that again. I haven’t broken through in maybe eight years.
It just counts to me lol, you get to define your own experiences! Thanks for sharing your trip stories! I always love to hear them.
Oh the craziest one was my second breakthrough ever. I was siting in a room with my closest friends, and everyone had a crazy face suddenly (they still looked like the people I loved, but with crazy faces!) Two parts stuck out to me so hard, I can still see them to this day. One was the strings. I could visually see strings connecting things from where they currently were, to where they were going to be in the future. I’m convinced that my brain was just working really slow, and what I was seeing were trails from where things WERE, but it looked sooooo different from the trails I’d see see on LSD or MDMA/MDA or RCs. Plus, they didn’t sync right with the words I’d hear from people, making it reeeeally seem like I was seeing strings connecting into the future.
The second and most intense thing I saw was a new color, that I had never seen before. It was like a scintillating vibrant color, a mashup of blue, pink, silver, gold, maybe? But kinda, cycling through them at the same time? I can still see it in my mind, and I wish I could show it to other people. I cried.
I've still not broken through.
That last experience sounds like it was really moving. Like the good version of The Colour Out of Space.
It’s so difficult to break through! I tried maybe five or six times and got really close the last time before my first actual breakthrough. Since then I’ve tried it another four or five times with two more breakthroughs. None as strong as the strings breakthrough—I strive for that at least once more.
Sounds slightly like a similar experience to how people describe seeing the new color olo
https://www.science.org/content/article/superprecise-lasers-show-people-whole-new-color
Maybe you should give yourself some more credit, the human brain is pretty insane. You ingested a chemical, and it did weird things to your brain, but whatever realizations that you had are yours alone.
I loved tripping in college and as a young adult. I grew up, friends changed...and now I find myself a few decades down the line thinking I just want to drop a little and I have no contacts anymore. So frustrating.