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Polyamory isn’t much better ime
Cheating still exists in polyamory, and you still get the same toxic bullshit as monogamy except now you have the added bonus of shaky accountability because “well you knew we were poly” …
Most people don’t do the groundwork to be able to hold a healthy and stable poly system and end up doing a lot of damage in the name of “enjoying themselves”.
Toxic people will be toxic regardless of relational preferences, but I think polyamory allows self absorbed and abusive people the shield of “you agreed to this” when in reality, they’re often looking for loopholes in boundaries or miscommunicating / twisting communicated hard limits or emotional boundaries to fit their actions.
Poly folk love to act all high and mighty like having more than one partner makes you inherently greater than mono folk when really it’s just preference for different styles of love.
I say this as someone who is actively practicing polyamory. Not all assholes are chefs, but any asshole can be a chef.
Yeah the big thing people miss is that every relationship, mono or poly, needs to be built on a foundation of open, honest and empathetic communication. Poly relationships just have more options for solving certain problems, but the solutions it provides are not ideal for everyone.