this post was submitted on 20 Feb 2026
19 points (100.0% liked)

Lesbians

698 readers
36 users here now

A community for lesbians, people whose loved ones are lesbians, people who want information about lesbians, queer people, and allies! Trans lesbians are lesbians and are welcome.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I understand if this post is a bit off topic, but I am going to a gay bar with the intention to meet mostly other queer women, and I'm specifically looking for advice from other lesbians, so I thought it would be relevant.

Okay, so I'm planning on going out to a gay bar soon just to like...meet some other queer folks? I have a long drive to the closest one (about half an hour to get to the city if there's no traffic), but I haven't gone out anywhere just to meet new people in...many, many years, so I'm looking for some advice (Side tangent: I'm sober and would only be drinking mocktails, so no, I'm not gonna be any danger driving).

My main concern is just how I even start to talk to people/approach anyone. I feel like sitting at the bar, I could really only interact with a couple people at a time (most of whom are probably out with friends anyway). Would anyone approach me if I sat alone at a table/booth? How do I look approachable? I feel uncomfortable approaching, say, a group of other people, because I don't want to intrude. Honestly the only experiences I have with bars is reading books where the characters go to a bar, so I don't know what to actually expect in reality.

I suppose I'm just very unsure what to expect/how to engage with the space. And I should probably clarify: I'm really just looking to meet new people/potentially make friends, not go home with someone. I'm demisexual, so I really don't see that happening, although I certainly wouldn't mind if other women flirted with me.

Is there any advice any of y'all have about how I should go about meeting new people there?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Filetternavn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 hours ago

Can confirm, I'm trans + AuDHD, and every trans person I know is neurodivergent lol