Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
Kinda depends.
My parents divorced when I was a baby.
My mom is probably doing fine. She was fake and selfish and none of the rest of us talk to her, my immediate family that is. All her fam, parents and siblings, were across country and kept in touch rather surperficially. But she always has local connections and worked two jobs and got her finances in order at 40 and bought a house and is now retired. And probably doing fine.
My dad never did well. He was the opposite, wasn't greedy, worked as a chef at Denny's for 14 years, always had a lot of deep connections and loving friends he helped out and us kids treated like family. But he basically only ever made ends meet, so that he could afford space for us kids in his apartments and be reasonably comfortable.
But after us kids became adults, my sis and him would loan each other money back and forth to cover bills in a pinch. They did that a lot.
He only really got on his feet after his mum passed and left him and his bros some cash. But he moved into the desert, away from everyone, and his health has never been great, and he's going blind, and working as an in-house aide to others worse off then him, and he can barely keep his lights on, let alone afford to get the treatments he needs, or ever retire.
My sis is married and seems to be stable. She, like my dad, moved around a bit, with her husband, after her kids left the nest. She was too much like my mum so I don't keep in touch, but I haven't heard anything about her struggling in many years.
Like my sis, I am married, and I think that helps a lot. Having a two income home. I'm a home owner, we, me and my spouse, are both on track to retire, barely, and we are managing alright otherwise.
It's not great. And we all about break even. But I think if my parents had stayed married or just shared a house with each other and us kids they woulda both been retired comfortably years ago. Instead they struggled with one income about equally to how we now struggle with two.
So, it kinda depends.