this post was submitted on 20 Feb 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] WoodScientist@lemmy.world 9 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

New crazy conspiracy theory: we're being quietly targeted for extermination by a hostile alien species.

They could wipe us out in an afternoon if they wanted to, but they can't just come right in and bomb us from orbit, as that would cause an interstellar relations incident, maybe mass unrest back home. But they also want us gone. We gotta go because we're an advancing young species, near their territory, and are a potential future problem. We're not dealing with an alien army attacking us; we're dealing with an alien equivalent of the CIA. They're here to do the dirty work quietly.

They know species at our level often run headfirst into environmental catastrophes as their technology becomes great enough to threaten the planet they live on. Instead of helping us, however, they're throwing gasoline on the fire. They've brainwashed/replaced with clones the world's wealthiest and most powerful people. And their behavior was psychologically programmed to maximize the chances of them leading us right into a climate apocalypse. Most species eventually get their shit together and place limits on extraction and pollution, less they all die. But if the right type of crazies are running the place, a species can just slam the accelerator as it drives off a cliff.

And when we eventually do burn ourselves alive in a climate Armageddon, the aliens will run news stories, lamenting the tragic tale of a poor primitive planet that couldn't right its ways in time. No threat of war between great interstellar powers. No mass protests movements back on the homeworld. Just a potential future rival nipped in the bud, no muss, no fuss. Mass murder dressed up as death by natural causes.

[–] kablez@lemmy.world 3 points 11 hours ago

So you're saying aliens are treating Earth the way wealthy countries treat poorer countries...

Makes more sense to me than the truth that pedophiles are in charge and so greedy for more wealth they'd risk everything they own and the planet with it to gain some intangible number on paper!

[–] realitista@lemmus.org 3 points 12 hours ago

I wish the world made this much sense.