A Boring Dystopia

Taxes in the US are overwhelmingly used for the military

"Overwhelmingly" is a bit of a ridiculous way to describe 13% of the budget, don't you think?

and to enrich rich fucks

Cite a figure for this nebulous category, if you can.

not to help the poor.

Actually, welfare spending is barely less than military spending, at 11.8% of the budget.

By letting someone sit on them to “allow them to appreciate” is letting someone doing nothing accumulate the wealth gains of society that we all work for.

The same can be said of anyone who owns a house. There is nothing wrong with a thing you already own becoming more valuable to others.

Because those assets appreciate faster than inflation, they create inflation pressure as more asseted people have income to burn that doesn’t reflect actual economic movement. Decreasing the value of money that other people need to use to buy things to live.

This is a very confused couple of statements; most egregiously, you're conflating asset price inflation with consumer price inflation, and only the latter has a direct effect on the working class.

The ultra-wealthy have a low 'marginal propensity to consume'. If Jeff Bezos gains $10 billion on paper, he does not spend $10B on consumption goods; most gains remain invested. Appreciation alone does not automatically translate into CPI inflation, because unrealized gains are not income.

No one lives in a vacuum and letting people hoard assets has a negative impact on everyone else.

It's objectively nonsensical to refer to the notion of purchasing something, and its market value increasing while you merely continue to own it, as "hoarding". Not to mention, again, that net worth is a valuation, a price tag. It is not money. Stop acting like when the price of a stock goes up, that amount of cash money is magically vacuumed out of the wallets of the working class.

If everyone became a laborer with proper compensation, society would thrive.

People want to be able to own things (aka assets), though.

If everyone became an asset hoarder

Ownership isn't hoarding.

society would break apart as there would be no one to operate the machinery of society.

Except this literally cannot ever happen because the demand created by the market is the whole reason those assets appreciate in value in the first place. It's a self-correcting issue: if too many people try to just 'own assets', the demand will drop, and said assets' value will start depreciating, incentivizing those people back in the other direction, to laboring.

...increasing the price of those assets, devaluing other ways of earning money

Asset appreciation is not income, stop equivocating the two.

reducing wealth inequality pushes us towards the first.

Not necessarily; it's entirely possible for everyone to have identical wealth, and also all be poor. In fact, that was the default state of humanity for the vast majority of its history.