Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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such great progress, congrats!!
EDIT: just wanted to point out that you've done yourself a huge favor by starting so young, well done ๐
yayy thanks. I mean I didn't start that young only when it was viable at 18 aka a year before moving out cause that is the amount of time I would be able to hide
"I didnโt start that young only when it was viable at 18"
Girl, you're still little more than a baby.
fiiiine
it's OK not to see it now, but when you're older you'll look back and see; I hope you will feel immense pride and gratitude to the younger person you are now - because you deserve to feel that
you are so sweet ๐
When I was your age I was starting to buy skirts and "cross-dress" privately (at home) more, that's when I chose my name and started experimenting with makeup. Then I repressed for more than a decade, so ... yeah, don't do what I did.
I know it probably feels too late to you, but 18 is a much better time than you realize - the body continues to androgenize significantly. I couldn't grow a beard until my mid 20s, my voice significantly changed in my 20s - the changes are huge.
So even starting at 18 you've saved yourself significant distress and suffering that waiting longer would have caused. โค๏ธ
That iss fair. Hey I am glad you found yourself eventually. I hold the belief that no matter the starting age or genetics transition can lead to happiness for anyone. Time and time again I have seen older trans women who started much later than I glowing so what I mean to say is that first it is never too late (no matter how painful and slow progress is) and that I am proud of you that you eventually started and took steps to control of your gender expression too โค๏ธ
oh yes, fully agree - it's never too late to start, even if it's pretty much always better to start earlier ๐
for me anyway that was true (I don't want to assume too much about others, but it does seem like it's true for most of us) - I didn't think I would ever pass and I thought I was signing up for being visibly trans the rest of my life.
In particular what I think is worth it is the hormones - I really didn't understand how significantly the wrong hormones can impact mood and mental health.
So from that perspective I tend to think we need to be on the right hormones regardless of what age we are - just to be healthy and happy. Obviously it's hard to live as a visibly trans person, but you just never know how it's going to go (I was completely wrong, for example).
Life is so much better than I ever understood it could be - and I was so mistaken about gender, lol. My whole life I thought it was something trivial, that gender was just social and gender expression was about what clothes I wore or how I was treated socially - I didn't understand gender has such strong biological components and could be a major medical issue with serious consequences for mental health (caused by the hormones and biology, not from something like not being able to wear the clothes you want).
Anyway, I just wish I had learned some things earlier, and it makes my heart full when I see younger folks figuring it out and living better lives ๐ฅฐ
I am in that exact situation, but its so hard to bite the bullet, even more when I cant really talk to anyone about it. Sad times.
Sure, but you can always just start HRT right now. That's really the most important thing in my mind.
Social transition can happen later, but you can't go back and start HRT earlier. Starting estrogen can also give you important information and can be very clarifying.
I wish HRT were viewed more as an early intervention and diagnostic tool than the "extreme" step that I think we all start off believing it is. You can even take it for several months without long-term effects.
Once I started estrogen it was clear to me, all the questioning and denial I had about trans was irrelevant because I was going to be taking estrogen no matter what from that point on - it radically changed my mood and mental health for the better (I should clarify I was doing monotherapy injections - basically enough estrogen to suppress testosterone production).
Anyway, don't wait to start living - repression is never a good idea.
Yup, its just that I have a therapist, a pretty accepting family and I still don't feel safe talking to anyone. It really makes you feel quite lonely...
I do plan on starting HRT this or next month, but I will be moving countries in three or four months, so thats also a complication.
Anyway, I will do what I can. Thank you for the thoughtful awnser <3.
there are usually local LGBT+ and trans support groups you can go to - the trans support groups are usually full of early transitioners and people whose egg just cracked, so you might find some similar people there, or at least people going through similar hurdles
you might also look for a therapist who is gender-informed and works with trans patients on gender dysphoria - that might make it easier for you to feel safe
but ultimately, you just can't really expect to feel fully safe, part of transition is that extreme vulnerability and putting one foot in front of the other towards transition even though it feels like you're going to die if you do
and yeah, moving might complicate the situation, but it's just a temporary setback and hopefully you will find a way to access HRT in the new country
Good luck with your struggles - just know you aren't alone. Feel free to DM me anytime ๐ซถ