this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2026
366 points (96.9% liked)

Not The Onion

20351 readers
1593 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

‘It is rule 62 of the Olympic Charter that we have to have a condoms story,’ says IOC spokesman Mark Adams

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 44 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

I don’t see why condom companies aren’t shipping in truckloads for free. You can’t beat that kind of publicity. L

[–] Heikki2@lemmy.world 15 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

This reads like the startn of Dr Seuss erotica

[–] krashmo@lemmy.world 15 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

I found myself in Italy
They said we could have condoms free
All partnered up by two or three
Everyone partook with glee
But now none are left for me

So hearken friends
My luck portends
This story ends
For me unfortunately

I skied directly into a tree
Then rolled the dice in the dormitory
It now burns badly when I pee
I hope my mom is proud of me
I only brought home an STD

[–] qjkxbmwvz@startrek.website 8 points 9 hours ago

You can’t beat

🤔