this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2026
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Why are people afraid of phone calls? I literally don't get it
They remember at time when we weren't all within reach of our own personal phone line 24/7. During that forgotten time, they were mostly children and expected to answer the landline and play the respectful secretary for the family. Sure, you MIGHT call someone's house if you cared or dared to run the gauntlet of dealing with whomever answered the home phone and it wasn't so private that you'd risk someone listening in from another room of your house or theirs. Party lines were even still a thing in some places. You could listen in to wireless handset phone with a baby monitor. Phone conversations carried a lot of emotion baggage.
The dotcom bubble burst just after we all got cell phones. As a result of this quirk of timing, most millennials grew up socializing a lot with people remotely via text based conversations over the Internet using things like Bulletin Board Services/Forums, IRC, ICQ, newsgroups, etc. These were free and far from the prying eyes of parents or easily hidden. But, that would have all been done at the home or school computer just like the landline (usually sharing the same literal line), not a thing you carried with you.
Millennials spent vast oceans of time being completely and utterly unreachable unless physically present and together, learning to converse face to face or in paragraphs of text from a box at home. Even emojis were text. Images were slow, small, and low quality, so the memes were rare and crafted with care.
When millennials got their first phone, it would have been likely for most that they'd most often be used by parents checking in. Cell phones were still mostly an in case of emergency type communication device, not your daily driver. That battery was limited and charging was slow. Even though text messages of the time carried a stiff financial cost, millennials stuck in class could converse by tapping out messages on the phones physical number pad buttons while pretending to pay attention.
TLDR: Millennials grew up during a communication technology revolution and as a result they've got some hang ups about always with you communication devices. Voice and video calls are an intrusion. For many, a ringing phone signals only parents, authority, or debt collectors.
I've never thought about it this way, but yeah that's actually pretty accurate. I lived on a farm and my entire family answered calls if they felt like it, so we never felt any social obligation to answer either
Damn never thought of it that way
We actually have a "landline" (voip) and I've gotten in the habit of giving the number to people when they genuinely need my phone number but I don't want them calling my cell randomly throughout the day.
It's also nice to have a phone that is readily available in emergencies. Nothing like frantically searching for your cell phone so you can call poison control.
I resent idea that phone calls coming through unexpectedly at any time. As if I should drop whatever I'm doing at any given moment to talk to this person.
They come with a red button, and you're allowed to press it. You can't be forced into a call, you have to provide consent
I leave it on silent. I don't want the ringtone to bother me either. My job is an excellent example. People at work think "speaking to someone about their question" is the ideal thing to do. It takes me at least twice as long to do tasks with interruptions. Just put your query in an email or your job on my task list and I'll do it in turn. Do not try to call me.
At home I'm even less likely to use phones for calls unless it's my parents or brothers. I don't want anyone to bother my playing with kids, gaming, exercising, pooping, eating, chores, etc. I try to deal with everything I can through messages and emails.
I can reply to your message when I have the time for it and carry on.
I can delay the reply if it's not urgent.
You can spend time actually writing what you want from me, so I can read it, and give you full answer. We both can then actually recall the conversation because it's saved.
And for people saying you can deny the calls - you can, and then you deal with narcissistic assholes having beef with you for doing so.
Edit: And also about not picking up - with message, your urgency is stated. With calls it is not. If I don't pick up, who knows how important was the thing you wanted. With message it's clear as a day from the get go, unless you can't write for shit.