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It's not always disgusting, first off xD Polyamory is around, though I've only been with... Uhh... Four? Married people, at least while they were married. A few have gotten married since.
Pretty normal, all things going, with three of them. If you mean "What's it like to be the person someone's cheating with" there's a good goddam reason I refuse to be anyone's secret. That one sucks, it's happened once, and was a 0/10 would not recommend experience for anyone involved. The guy blamed himself after I told him, the girl had cotton candy where most people had a spine, and it wasn't even worth it in bed.
EDIT: Four. It's happened four times.
There's also the scenario where the guy didn't know she was in a monogamous relationship.
It's disgusting for the wife, but not the guy.
Yeah. In my case they were all poly when they happened. The one where I was a secret had the spouse, and another partner besides me. I was the secret from one of them, but not the other. Were that not my first poly relationship I almost certainly wouldn't have gotten involved, it was... A mess.