Ask Lemmy

Honestly I started hooking up with a girl who worked in the same building as me for a few months after I broke up with my ex at the time. She was hot and clearly interested in me so we started flirting and it didn't take much time to escalate. We were both in our early 20s and she was a year younger than me. She said she was divorced, which was a red flag by itself at our age but I ignored it and gave her the benefit of the doubt...

So anyway that was a lie that turned into," oh we're actually just separated", then "well, we still live together...."

Again I was a mess myself and she was literally one of the most beautiful women I've ever met. We continued to hook up under the assumption that all parties consented and we're aware of what was going on which was fine but in hindsight was still dumb. She was constantly lying, little things and big things. I never really knew the truth and she always had weird justifications which I didn't really push her to explain, I just filed them away as 'evidence' for lack of a better term. We fuck for hours at my place then she'd go home looking disheveled and smelling like sex only to complain that her husband was in a bad mood. That shit was just disrespectful and I had no ntention of rubbing it in the other dudes face like that.

It got to a point where I was like, damn do I have to worry about this dude coming after me at some point? He was in the army and they got together at 18. I don't know how much he knew about me but with the tension between them, our relationship was quickly becoming a liability. He had firearms, I didn't. She also only had male friends, many of whom were clearly in love with her and pining for her affection, so more men who were against me.

We were on again off again for a while. One of the last times we hooked up we went to her house and as I took my shoes off I saw size 13 Nike SB Dunks, I didn't even mention them but it was clear that I wasn't the only dude she had coming around. And it sure as hell wasn't a relative. At that point I was mentally checked out and done with the drama. Realized I was gonna get caught up in bullshit if I kept fucking around with her so I told her straight up I'm done because I can't trust a word she's saying.

I liked her a lot but we both had our issues, her problems were definitely more substantial tho, not to absolve myself or my actions. I wasn't into it in the end; the infidelity and lying became far too much on top of the other mental/financial instability.

Apparently he was constantly cheating on her but IDK, so much of the story was iffy. For now on my rule is I'm open to dating a divorcee but only after the divorce has been finalized for over a year. Im not going through that shit again