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When it's presented in school, it is presented as thing of the past and localised to how Russia and America treated/still treat one another, rather than threading the needle by explaining that it still applies today. I'm pretty sure I only picked up on it after reading online explanations/justifications of nukes.
Or in other words people focus on the panic of it so much that they don't stop to think of it as a good thing
TBF I think even without Nukes we wouldn't have war between big countries. Because the UN would discourage it. Ukraine being a big exception to that