this post was submitted on 12 Feb 2026
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2 North American 4 You
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The average american only eats 2 ounces of cheese a day.
Charles Entertainment Cheese, who eats 7 billion pounds of cheese a day, is an outlier and should not be counted.
When reached for comment, he replied "Please, Charles Cheese is my father. Call me Chuck."
Reminds me of a joke (kinda) thought I had years ago. Chuck E Cheese should open a fine dining white tablecloth restaurant called Charles E. Fromage.
I'm fully on board with this, provided they offer a prix fixe, 12-course meal.
Hors d’Oeuvre: Parmesan bites with marinara
Amuse-Bouche: Stuffed banana peppers
Soup Course: Minestrone
Salad Course: Caesar
Appetizer: Cheesy bread with artichoke cheese dip
Fish Course: Slice of anchovy pizza
First Main Course: Slice of Hawaiian pizza
Palate Cleanser: Orange sherbet
Second Main Course: Slice of meat-lovers' pizza
Cheese Course: Mozzarella sticks
Dessert: Cinnamon rolls
Mignardise: Chocolate lava cake and medium-roast Folger's coffee
Vintages:
1985 Coca Cola
1997 Pepsi Cola
1987 RC Cola
1996 Dr Pepper
1999 Mr Pibb
1979 Mountain Dew
2004 Moutain Dew Code Red
2004 Mountain Dew Baja Blast
2001 Sprite
1998 Fresca
2003 Barques Root Beer
2003 A&W Cream Soda
i'm requesting french onion, not minestrone
"Very well. Let me just go and confer with our chef to make sure we can accommodate your request."
[Distant, muted sounds from kitchen, including plates crashing and yelling.] "...Che Cazzo? Vai a dire a quel figlio di puttana di andare a farsi fottere, e se quel pezzo di merda chiede un'altra sostituzione nel menu, digli che gli taglio le palle io stesso..."
"I apologize, but the chef...uh...respectfully declines menu substitutions at this time."
theres more cheese in the french onion tho
We'll get you some parmesan for the soup.
It better be like 90 pounds of it
At that point, isn't just a cheese salad with soup dressing?
I didn't hear any complaining though.
also why didn't we make the eleventh course fondue? that nacho cheese machine has good output
I have to admit, that's pretty inspired. A nacho fondue served from one of those 7-Eleven machines with the plastic bladder full of a cheese-adjacent semisolid substance would be way more on brand.
Barques got me
I wish I could takes credit for that one, but I tried to spell it from memory. I knew there was a 'q' in it, but not much more.
Charles Edward Cheddarton's. He's a fat British mouse but runs a fine establishment unlike his American cousin.
Someone beat you to it. https://charlesefromage.org/website-design-for-charles-e-fromage-bistro
Holy shit, it's a real restaurant (and a front yard business, to boot)!
I doubt they beat me to the idea, but they certainly did on executing it. That is glorious!!!
Charles Divertissement Fromage, non?
please do not doxx me
I don't think we should count Wisconsin either. They have so much they wear it on their heads.
Speak for yourself, I personally eat 100lbs each day (200lbs on Sundays)
Sure thing gaston
Casual!
*adn