this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2026
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Why would you want to get married? (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 days ago by alyth@lemmy.world to c/casualconversation@piefed.social
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I've been in a stable relationship for a while now so naturally the idea of being married to that person comes up. But I just can't think of any argument in favour of it.

  1. The government is discussing equalising tax groups, so unmarried individuals are no longer disadvantaged compared to married couples.

  2. I engage in a contract with high risk. If I don't get my legalese right, I risk forfeiting a sizeable portion of my belongings when the contract comes to an end. High risk should entail high reward but in fact I don't see any reward.

  3. Getting married changes nothing about the relationship. Until recently, the government didn't even recognise same sex marriages. So if a straight couple gets married, should that make their relationship more valid because the government decides to put a stamp of approval on theirs and not on a gay couple? I hope not.

I've tried putting myself in other roles to imagine why I would want to get married. This is what I came up with:

  1. I like labelling things and I like the sound of the label "married"
  2. I want a big party called "marriage ceremony" that other people also understand as "marriage ceremony" (as opposed to just any party)
  3. I like the way married couples are portrayed in films and books (Ignoring the fact that in real life, a lot of marriages are unhappy, dysfunctional and draining until they end up in divorce).
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[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

I think it's reasonable to go in with divorce as a possibility. In fact I think some people shouldn't go in until they've seriously considered what they'd do in case of divorce. Relationship exit plans are awesome, they'd be even better if anyone ever followed them.

Op is unromantic here, but divorce is a possibility. People grow and change and sometimes they grow apart (though you should work to avoid it). Sometimes a "want to have" becomes a need and an irreconcilable difference. That's why making a plan while you still love each other and want the best for them is so useful. Worst case scenario it's an afternoon discussing assets before marriage and an hour or so when major financial changes occur that never is needed, but if it is needed it can be a framework of what you both thought was fair before it got ugly that you can bring to divorce court.