this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2026
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Why would you want to get married? (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 days ago by alyth@lemmy.world to c/casualconversation@piefed.social
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I've been in a stable relationship for a while now so naturally the idea of being married to that person comes up. But I just can't think of any argument in favour of it.

  1. The government is discussing equalising tax groups, so unmarried individuals are no longer disadvantaged compared to married couples.

  2. I engage in a contract with high risk. If I don't get my legalese right, I risk forfeiting a sizeable portion of my belongings when the contract comes to an end. High risk should entail high reward but in fact I don't see any reward.

  3. Getting married changes nothing about the relationship. Until recently, the government didn't even recognise same sex marriages. So if a straight couple gets married, should that make their relationship more valid because the government decides to put a stamp of approval on theirs and not on a gay couple? I hope not.

I've tried putting myself in other roles to imagine why I would want to get married. This is what I came up with:

  1. I like labelling things and I like the sound of the label "married"
  2. I want a big party called "marriage ceremony" that other people also understand as "marriage ceremony" (as opposed to just any party)
  3. I like the way married couples are portrayed in films and books (Ignoring the fact that in real life, a lot of marriages are unhappy, dysfunctional and draining until they end up in divorce).
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[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I mean if you don't have children there's no need.

But if you want children, children that are born out of wedlock might face issues, from legal issues like taxes, jus sanguinis citizenship, and custody issues, to potential societal judgement for being a "bastard"/illegitimate child.

[–] MagicShel@lemmy.zip 5 points 5 days ago

I don't think there is any societal judgement these days. I'm 52, and while my parents were technically married when I was born, there is no evidence of that unless you look at my birth certificate. They married after I was conceived and divorced soon after I was born. No one has ever brought it up.

I think the biggest risk is feeling sensitive about it and outing yourself as giving it weight and opening yourself up to bullying. I met my birth mom when I was 18. And the importance with which she stressed that I was not a bastard really made me question why she assumed I'd give a damn.

She had a lot of weird hangups about my circumstances. I just wanted to meet my siblings. Meeting the person who possessed the womb in which I was formed only made me thankful things worked out as they did.

But I suppose other cultures probably view it differently.