About last month I venting to my friends just about life and things and I made the mistake of admitting that I needed money for a good therapist and they were like "do you really need one though?" and I had to explain that I'm am a person who deals with schizophrenia and I need help with dealing with seeing/hearing things and coping with my condition.
I remember how they all when silent. I don't usually talk about my mental health problems as it's personal but as it came up and they asked me so I just told them straight. They just asked some questions at first like "how long have you had it" and "if I'm hearing things rn" etc etc before I changed the subject to something else. Looking back I really regret doing so because in the following weeks they would text me less, ignore me on the ground chat, invite me to less gatherings and not respond to me when I message them. Don't get me wrong they don't completely ghost me but they don't talk/hang out with me as much as they used to. In past month I've met them like three times even though I used to meet them weekly.
Honestly, I'm more disappointed then anything else. Not just with them but with society as a whole. I hate how we all pride ourselves with being mental health positive but when it comes to the non wholesome mental health issues like schizophrenia, NPD, compulsive lying, ASPD then it's a completely different story. I love my friend group but I hate how they all dumped me especially when it's the number one thing I'm most self conscious about. We were supposed to be open with each other but now they've all left me just because I told them about one of my personal problems.
Don't get me wrong I still love my friends but I just need them to understand that none of us are perfect and I'm just a normal person who has some problems like everyone else. It doesn't make me a dangerous person. Schizophrenia isn't something that can be cured it's just a part of me I have to live with. I just need some help with dealing with the voices and seeing faces on things. That's all. I'm not a danger to no one in any way. I'm planning on confronting them about this soon and just telling them all this. I don't know know how I'll go about it but I just need to make them understand because I really like what we have.
Please invest in https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/nutrient-power-3
& understand that he .. left out some key information, perhaps unconsciously to protect people's dependency on paying him as their direct consultant..
He identifies a number of underlying biochemical-syndromes which have myriad effects..
He identifies that the people in prison have abnormally-high lead or cadmium, often ( & I mean abnormally-high compared with their siblings, so it isn't environmental, it's that their body is hoarding the stuff, and that it makes their-lives more prone to criminality/dysfunction ).
He identifies undermethylated-DNA disorder which underlies a set of conditions, including autism, & 1 type of schizophrenia..
it is treated by SAM-e, or Methionine.
He doesn't explain that SAM-e needs to be enteric-coated, & got past one's stomach, for it to be able to work.
So, when I did that experiment, I had to take SAM-e, with clear water, & wait until the nausea hit, and THEN I could have something for breakfast..
XOR I could take Methionine & not worry about any enteric-coating, or getting it past my stomach, for it to work..
( for scale: I'm an old male, about 75kg, & took 400mg SAM-e, which was sufficient, in the 2 times I did that experiment, & 500mg of methionine, which wasn't sufficient, in the 2 times I did that experiment. So, depending on your biochemistry & mass, you may have to scale that down or up, IF you read the book & decide that that's an experiment you're needing to do )
The treating the undermethylated-DNA experiments all produced lack-of-stress, which I'd never experienced before.
They also removed my studying-drive.
Which .. isn't OK.
Now I know that I need Tahini in my diet, to get enough methionine into me, & wouldn't have known that, before.
& if I ever need to take the edge off, get de-stressed, then that's the supplement I'll take.
Another underlying biochemical-syndrome he identified is pyrrol-disorder: what I called PTSD-RAGEs.
Just, for NO apparent reason, suddenly BAM: RAGE.
The treatment for the biochemical-error of that one, is:
Zinc, + Arachidonic-acid-precursor/Evening-Primrose-Oil, + P5P form of vitamin-B.
He states that our-kind's biochemical error is wrongly-eradicating zinc, & the level of supplementation is .. scary.
He wasn't kidding.
When I did those experiments, it became obvious that I was needing 4x the Tolerable Upper Limit of zinc, to reach the right balance.
IE, I was requiring an amount of zinc that would outright-kill any normal properly-functioning human being, for me to experience healthy zinc/copper balance.
It was the only time in my life I ever experienced simple-happiness, just as a natural state ( did the experiment multiple times, same as with the undermethylated-DNA treatment experiment ).
So, now I know that I'm always on-edge, fighting to not let the PTSD-RAGE break me into becoming a guilty-criminal, & that ISN'T what simple-happiness is.
Dosages were, for scaling, 200mg/day of zinc ( again: that'll outright kill any normal human, poisoning them, but it corrected my-body's distortion: without that underlying-distortion, this dosage is evil ), taken as 50mg every 6h,
AND 2000mg of evening-primrose-oil,
AND whatever the Vitacost P5P pills are, they're really-high-dose, I couldn't take 2/day: that was poisonous, so 1x/day was what I stuck with.
Oh, & I discovered that Zinc Picolinate & Zinc Gluconate are the 2 to use:
You can actually use Zinc Citrate as a dangerous diagnostic, for pyrrol-disorder:
Simply get some suspected pyrrol-disorder person on the evening-primrose & P5P, but hold-back the zinc.
Then, when you've got them in a rubber-room for a few hours, give them zinc-citrate.
IF it shims-out some of the excess-copper their body is holding, flooding them with it, THEN the RAGE will be .. too strong, beginning roughly 1/2h after they take the zinc-citrate, & lasting possibly a few hours.
IF that happens, THEN .. there's nothing else which will produce that result, so you can consider it to be fairly definitive a proof/diagnostic.
All this is just giving you the facts about what I was able to test, & to correct the .. annoyingly left-out information from his book.
The overmethylated-DNA disorder was the hallucinations-one, & obviously I can't be in it, because I'm in the opposite one..
( both overmethylated-DNA disorder & undermethylated-DNA disorder can produce depression, or schizophrenia, or other disorders, but all autistics are undermethylated )
Overmethylated-DNA was treated with a mixture of niacinimide & folate, no idea what dosages.
Anyways, PLEASE dig into that book, & IF you find it is correctly describing your condition, ONLY then consider doing whichever experiment it is that suits your biochemistry.
I'm a brain-injury survivor: it took decades to get good at fighting my way into approximating function.
All the "acceptable" people just made themselves into drugged psychiatric-zombies, like they wanted me doing.
Healing's actually natural, when it's underlying-distortions are corrected, properly..
That is ideologically-intolerable to Western medicine, but it's true.
Healing is a natural capacity.
As for your friends, & their intolerance for people who've got slightly-malfunctioning-brains ( obviously, if they didn't know before, it wasn't deforming your behavior/nature/character in ways that forced them into knowing, was it? )
sigh
welcome to this world.
Where only "acceptable-condition" people are "valid", in the "majority's" eyes.
I can't honestly offer you any comfort, re that category of treatment by acceptable-people.
Sorry.
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