this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2026
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That's my favorite Bible story because it humanizes Jesus so much to just once flip out and whoop some ass. He wasn't divinely chill all the time; he usually restrained himself.
I like the one where the druid Elisha summoned bears to murder children because they mocked his bald head.
Obligatory shout out to the Apocalypse Players, "A Christmas Inheritance". This Bible passage plays a significant role in the investigation.
Yahweh is a just god, after all
Jesus comes across as kind of mean to his disciples at times. It's less obvious in some of the other gospels, but in Mark, which is a lot shorter and contains a lot fewer sermons, the dialogue with the disciples really stands out and Jesus often admonishes them for pretty understandable things. Jesus isn't really portrayed by the gospels as being "divinely chill" so much as having infinite wisdom and little patience for people who are wrong.
I like to imagine Jesus as a Saw Gerrera type.
It makes it more fun.
Just as plausible that he could pilot an xwing too
Mark is also (believed to be) the earliest gospel, so the ways it varies from the others is pretty interesting. Particularly against John which is the (relatively) newest.
If people were using my dad's house to scam people, I'd be pissed and kick them out too.
Doesn't it also literally say he flipped some tables?
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
There was also the story where as a kid he was studying plants and got annoyed with the neighbour kid who was trying to play with him. He killed the neighbour kid and returned to his plants.
I like that he weaved the whip together himself... I just picture him calmly sitting there, literally making a whip, while people are all like, "What the fuck are you doing, Jesus??" and, saying nothing, he just quietly continues... Until the whip is complete and it's time to kick some money-changer ass.