this post was submitted on 05 Feb 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] kcseb@pawb.social 160 points 1 week ago (3 children)

And here's where we introduce you to this magical term called full disk encryption!

[–] EmpatheticTeddyBear@lemmy.world 112 points 1 week ago (4 children)

And if you use BitLocker, do NOT backup your recovery key to the cloud!

https://gizmodo.com/microsoft-reportedly-turned-over-bitlocker-encryption-keys-to-the-fbi-2000713550

Print out out, give it to a friend, don't mention it via electronic means (email, text, Snapchat, YouTube, and so on...)

[–] msage@programming.dev 56 points 1 week ago (1 children)

And if you use BitLocker, don't!

[–] quips@slrpnk.net 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)

What is a better windows alternative?

[–] turdas@suppo.fi 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Even better is to memorize it.

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 45 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Hide it in a poem in a leather bound book at the end of a trap-filled dungeon.

[–] Insekticus@aussie.zone 13 points 1 week ago

Ill be honest, this is clearly the best idea out there for passwords safety

[–] Pilon23@feddit.dk 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Now when you say a trap-filled dungeon. What exactly do you mean?

[–] Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

nothing incriminating, your honour, just some harmless pranks such as water buckets above the doors.

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don’t think that’s the kind of trap they were alluding to…

[–] Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Oh, I got that, I just refuse to entertain the possibility.

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 week ago

Y’know what, fair enough.

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

I'll hide it at the end of my mix tape.

[–] FerretyFever0@fedia.io 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hide it in a book in a buried chest on a minecraft world 5000 blocks from spawn.

[–] ThunderQueen@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Unironically not a terrible idea. Who tf would check your minecraft for irl keys. Could probably have a library in a world just full. Probably isnt encrypted though. Probably just plain text in a game file on your drive somewhere

[–] FerretyFever0@fedia.io 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I stole from someone else that hid the urls of porn sites in a chest when he was a kid. Think it was pretty old, probably on Reddit, learned about it maybe 2 years ago. I don't know anything about encryption or protecting sensitive information, certainly not of this nature, but it could potentially work. Would be quite a few chests full if anon is doing something with a lot of intricate details.

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[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

Don’t print it. Your previous prints are easily retrievable

[–] JPAKx4@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 week ago

I think I've heard if you have a Microsoft account it automatically gets backed up

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 40 points 1 week ago (9 children)

This person should also turn off their computer and remove the RAM so it's zeroed out if it gets siezed.

[–] trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Full disk encryption doesn't help much if the pc is running anyway since the key will be in memory

[–] B0rax@feddit.org 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

How will they carry the running pc if it’s not a laptop?

[–] frog@feddit.uk 39 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

They have a battery attached to flat wires. When you give a couple millimeters of room from the plug, they insert the flat wires and the computer will be powered from the battery.

HotPlug Field Kit

If the computer is logged in, they have a USB device that mimics a mouse. It makes the mouse pointer move back and forth to prevent it from going to sleep or the screen saver.

[–] trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

They use forensic tools to clone the RAM before moving it. Probably depends on exploits so whether it will work may depend on your OS, but they have access to the hardware so there are a lot of possibilities.

[–] SirHaxalot@nord.pub 13 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Is this actually practically achievable or mostly theoretical in a lab? Is it confirmed that the cops have actually managed to do this?

[–] hector@lemmy.today 8 points 1 week ago

For password guessing they make clones of the computer so they can make countless instances of it to endlessly guess the password at the speed of dickheads to get around the systems cutting the guesser off after a number of attempts.

[–] Archer@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

You can do this for servers. Desktops would be no problem

[–] B0rax@feddit.org 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

At least in Germany, I would be surprised if the cops could point to the RAM inside a computer. They will not open it before they take it with them.

[–] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Careful. There are levels to it, and from stories that I heard, those levels don't always communicate with each other. If you get the regular "normal cops", then no, they won't know anything more than the average joe about computers.

If get in deep enough shit, you might get a visit from the specialised cops, either the state or federal variety, and those guys know what they are doing.

[–] trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's definitely the case in the Netherlands. I wouldn't trust the average cop to find the power button. But that doesn't mean the specialized teams don't have some really good ones.

[–] brotundspiele@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

And the guys who usually search houses aren't average cops, they know how to search houses, because they search houses regularly. They've had dozens of cases in the past that couldn't be solved because someone has unplugged a pc too soon. They have regular trainings where they are updated on the newest developments. They have learned by now. We're not living in 2005 anymore and neither do the cops.

[–] brotundspiele@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

If a cop acts as if they don't have a clue, you have to be extra careful. They might be trying to lull you into a false sense of security. They've been working with a lot of criminals before you, and most of those criminals have had computers and smartphones for 20 years now. They know what they are doing, nowadays.

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (5 children)

This is where I think NFC may finally be useful. If cops show up, I slide my phone by a hidden NFC tag, and an http request is sent to my desktop machine. Everything incriminating is wiped and the computer is turned off, before the cops can walk to the room.

[–] a4ng3l@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Unless you have tied the NFC to an arc wielding torch how would proper data disposal process runs its course fast enough? You live in a manor with very long hallways?

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Most of really nasty data is text or a few questionable apps, and should take very little time. Video and audio present a problem, but I think they can be speedily wiped by nuking the metadata parts, making recovery and identification difficult. Not sure how resilient modern formats are to data loss, but afaik e.g. AVI is quite reliant on the description of the stream (which iirc is inconveniently placed at the end of the file).

[–] a4ng3l@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Nha my dude you’re lying to yourself if you think that it is nearly enough to survive the level of forensics that will happen in case of a motivated investigation. You need the whole multipass erasure and overwriting or you’re toast. It takes hours…

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[–] three@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The boys and I have a racist group chat and my hard drive is full of kiddie porn and audio recordings of women peeing in public restrooms.

lmfao you're going to need a more robust destruction plan

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[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Better to have a "spare" pc under your desk, with the real one hidden.

Cheaper and you won't accidentally wipe your pc all the time.

But what are you all having on up your PCs??

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Where I am, having a networked machine cemented up in the wall is the national pastime, for when a bunch of masked policemen show up with automatic rifles. As for what's on that machine, that's another national sport because no one is paying for those bastards to harass businesses.

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[–] Alpha71@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago

Yeah, refusing a warrant is definitely a separate crime from whatever they're looking for on the computer. If something like this happens, the only way to protect yourself from a warrant is to fully delete everything on your computer. They can't arrest you for not handing over something that doesn't exist. The cops know this though, which is why they probably wouldn't give you that kind of warning without having a warrant ready to go, which is because this story is fake.