this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2026
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Off My Chest

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Wasn't sure if I wanted to put it out there, but I needed a place to let it out. I suppose my situation was too good to be true. Dated for years, but the marriage itself did not make it to a single year, at least unofficially.

It's been a stressful time. She previously had a government job under an agency that doge culled. She loved her job. I realize that as a society we work too much, but to some degree people do want to feel productive and that many people find their workplaces to be places of belonging. She apologized for taking so long to come to this conclusion, but she mentioned that this time away from work has helped a lot with self-reflection.

I was aware that she considered herself bi previously and that she had relations with women before. I wasn't aware of the extent of it. She told me she felt compulsory heterosexuality for a long time, but wasn't entirely sure of it and I was her last chance in regards to men. She told me she still loved me, just not that way, and that I was the best partner she'd ever had, that she was remorseful about not being compatible in that regard. We discussed a lot of more private feelings, mostly trying to understand and showing concern for each other.

I support her. If that's how she feels then that's how she feels, and she deserves to be happy. I'm not angry with her, and we're not leaving each others lives, just changing roles. It still hurts a lot, but that's life sometimes. It isn't anyone's fault.

That said I'm glad I won't be doing anything tomorrow. I'm just struggling to function right now. And yeah, that's how it's going.

Edit: I slept in today quite a bit. I've read through most of the replies and it really melted my heart. I cried a bit. I didn't expect so many kind words or this much encouragement. I appreciate a lot of the advice too. I don't really know how to express any gratitude beyond this. I will try to reply a bit more later, but I need to take some more time to myself for a while. Thank you.

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[โ€“] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

really, what have i done that demands i account for it? have i lied to you personally or something? are we in a relationship? I wasn't aware.

[โ€“] ada@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 weeks ago

Your behaviour in this thread, assuming it's representative of your thoughts and opinions when you interact with people offline too, is partly responsible for creating the situation that forces LGBTQ to suppress and hide themselves, that makes it difficult if not impossible for them to avoid the situations like the OP described in this thread.

That's something you could own and you could change.

But you don't, you instead blame the people who are impacted by folk like yourself, without looking at your own actions as part of the cycle.